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Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My fiance has difficulty having an via my vagina, mouth or

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My fiance has difficulty having an orgasm via my vagina, mouth or hand. He masturbates regularly and can do so in front of me and he has no problems reach climax. Most of the time when he enters my vagina, he will get soft. It is to the point where we are both avoiding sex in order to not have this awkward experience. I am a VERY sexually open woman and have tried many things with him, including role playing, erotic stories, fantasy sharing, etc. It has been ruled out that he does not have ED or any health problems (he is 42 and had a full physical recently). I believe our next step is sexual therapy. Do you have any suggestions on what we can do or what the issue may be?
Hello my name is ***** ***** you for bringing your concerns to Just Answer..with regards ***** ***** most stressful and frustrating time for you both..and I feel for you in this..
I agree and note that you have both tried much to work this out..and would suspect that your finance has some sort of subconscious 'block' with regards ***** ***** during intercourse ...a therapist trained in the treatment of sex therapy I would definitely recommend, before it places any further undue stress on your relationship ...to find out the source of this 'block' and the underlaying feelings that may go with that.
Very best wishes
Kind regards
Karyn J(ProfClinical DipCounBMin)
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Hello,
I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I would like to concur with Karyn Jones. With these situations it is best to seek the services of a certified sex therapist. There is no way to diagnose his problem in this forum because we would need to collect a complete psychosocial history of his life. Ruling out such things as childhood sexual abuse or other trauma's in his life that could be contributing to his problem.

My only thought from the information provided here is the statement " I am a VERY sexually open woman and have tried many things with him". I'm wondering if perhaps this is too aggressive for him or intimidating? Perhaps he's having performance anxiety due to your openness? This would be the only assumption I can make from the information provided.

With all of that said, it sounds like you have tried everything possible to solve this problem without clinical intervention.
Here is a list of certified sex therapists http://www.sstarnet.org/directory.cfm

Additionally, he may consider hypnotherapy for this problem. Hypnosis can bypass the critical factor of the conscious brain and eliminate whatever this 'block' is.

I hope this answer helps. Please feel free to ask for clarification or for more information about this answer.

All the best,

Kym

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Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience: Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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