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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5820
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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How do I handle my husbands constant yelling. He is under

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How do I handle my husbands constant yelling. He is under great stress daily due to the economy and trying to keep his business going. However, my two teenage children and myself continue to be the target of his mood swings, anger and inability or lack of self control. He grew up in a dysfunctional family. When he's happy it's great, but without warning, boom, the temper flares. I just don't know what to do anymore. React, not react, tell him that we want to hear his opinions and concerns, just not be yelled at all the time. HELP!!!!!

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your husband is taking out his insecurities and stresses out on you and your daughters. He does not sound like he is able to control his anger and is not able to find alternative ways to express his frustrations. This is in essence verbal abuse. Whenever someone cannot control their emotions and takes this lack of self control out on someone else, it is abuse.

Also, the fact that he is not listening to you and your daughters when you tell him how you feel is also a bad sign. He is thinking of himself only in that case and is not concerned with the effect of his behavior on his family.

I highly recommend that you and your husband seek counseling. If he will not go, go yourself. He needs to recognize he has a problem and find ways to deal with his anger. However, if he does not go to counseling he is going to continue his behavior. This leaves you to decide how you want to deal with it. Your counselor can help you with that. You may also want to consider having your children see a therapist to have an evaluation done and to determine if they have suffered any effects from the abuse. Talk with your doctor for a referral or if you attend church, your pastor can help. There is also a site you can try called www.findatherapist.com.

Here is an excellent guide to help you find resources and answers to your problem. It is at: http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm.

Also, there are some books that can help as well. One is called The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond by ***** *****. Another is The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by ***** *****. You can find these on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

I hope this has helped you,

Kate

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