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Pamela, LCSW
Pamela, LCSW, Psychotherapist/MSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 747
Experience:  25 years of experience in private practice and inpatient psychiatry;licensed in two states
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My son will be divorced 1 yr he has two college girls living

Resolved Question:

My son will be divorced 1 yr he has two college girls living with him his ex wife chose to leave yheir home and the girls decided to live with him.I am puzzled because my son is compltely wrapped up in his daughters lives especially the young one who he simply adores
He has been dating a woman whom is intelligent and who also has two girls 16 & 10 yrs of age I have accepted his new life and extended my hospitality to his lover and her children
All was going smoothly until my son moved back with his daughters ,his lover put pressure on him I don't really know what kind how-ever January 20th was my son's birthday and my husband made plans for the family to be togeher to celebrate his birthday Stacey my son's lover did not come earlier in the same week I sent her an e-mail and she never replied it had nothing to do with my sons' birthday
My son made an excuse for her on the evening of his birtday sice she is a flight attendent we accepted
Saturday I asked my son how come we haven't seen Stacey he said she had a bitter argument and he decided to go spend a week in his Fl home he said he could not take the pressure he told me in retrospect he too said some awful hings to her because she is jealous of his relationship with his daughters As a professional my question to you is how do I deal with this I had a similar situation with my ex daughter inlaw I truly belived Stacey was different now we are back to day one and my grandaughters are feeling guilty.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Pamela, LCSW replied 6 years ago.

Hello and thank you for contacting Just Answer:

It sounds like you are hurt by Stacey not being around. For you, as the mother in law figure, it is a very delicate situation. There is not much for you to do except be supportive of your son. Any other kind of intervention may be seen as a blurring of boundaries or meddling.

Unfortunately, I think this is for your son to figure out and has little to do with you, even though you care deeply about the situation. He may want to explore some of his relationship issues in therapy as you mention that this has happened to him before.

It is unfair for the granddaughters to feel guilty. It seems like your son may need to handle some of these issues on his own and not drag you or his children into it.

I hope this is helpful and best wishes,

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