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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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My 14 year old son asked me if I would have sex with him

Resolved Question:

My 14 year old son asked me if I would have sex with him (his mom) because he is curious and wants to know what it is like. Should I be completely paranoid that something is seriously wrong with him? I mean, I am his mom!! I know he likes girls his age because he recently asked me advice on how to ask girls out. I told him that 14 is kind of young to go on dates but that he could hang out with girls at school.

When I asked if he knows what sexual intercourse is, he shrugged. So his dad and I explained it to him and then he got all weird and quiet...I don't think he quite understood the mechanics of it all even though he and dad had the sex talk. He got really embarrassed but after we talked some more he seems okay now. I am the one freaked out though. What should I do??

Oh, he is bipolar and I do have a call in to his psychiatrist, but we are all snowed in right now and the office is closed until Monday. I am trying to decide if this would constitute a call in to the emergency number. Thanks!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 6 years ago.
Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am really very sorry to hear this. As you know this is grossly inappropriate. You should not delay in taking him to see an adolescent therapist to work with him so that this does not get out of control.


Should I call the emergency number of his psychiatrist or wait until Monday?

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I will give you the name of two organizations that have referral services. They also have low cost referrals so when you contact them check out what would be suitable for you. click on Find an Analyst Click on Training Institutes --- Find the Institute near your home, call them and ask them for a referral

Any adolescent therapist from either of these organizations ( APsaA or IPA ) will have very extensive training and will be able to help you.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

Oh, I just saw what you wrote.

Dr. Shirley Schaye :

I would call his/her number and tell him/her when you speak with him/her what the problem is. If s/he's annoyed that you called then maybe you want someone else. I would never be annoyed if my patient's called concerned about something. This way you could at least set up an appointment.


Okay, thank you. I will give them a call. They probably won't be able to see him until Monday, but at least I could make an appointment like you said. One other question...I know that I have read that bipolar people can have a tendency to be more sexually promiscuous...would this be a sign of that or something much much worse? I know it is hard because you haven't met and talked with my son, but I am really worried! He has been doing so well this past year and now this.

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