Thanks for your help!
Yes, 1,5 months ago my papa got his 4 heart attack and 1,5 weeks after he got 5 heart attack and he was between death and life.I worried so much.Becouse I live so far from Ukraine.Its so hard and painful to live so far from parents,who feel not good every year more and more,who need my help and support.I didnot hope my papa will live,will stay with us.After his 5 heart attack my papa went through his heart operation.I was still worried,I had call to my friend from CA and told her "If my papa wilnot go through his operation,of he will dead I will follow him".Doctor,it was just words, I said it and forgot.Thanks GOD, my papa feeling much better then before operation.Now I feel wish of death.Words and feelings are so diffrent! Doctor,its so stressful and painful situation,when you are feeling strong fear of death and same wish of death.You walk between life and death.You try to be strong,to keep situation under control.Now I started to be afraid these critical days!Im scared,shaking,feel nervous,when feel this feelings come to me again.How many hard situation I went through, I never was thinking about this dangerous exit from life.If I was think ,it was just joke,it was not seriose.Becouse all my life Im afraid death so much!Doctor,can you to tell it is normal when person feel good,his life is nice,but one day bad feelings cameto him(to her)?
I understand,if person feel deep depression,he lost interest for everithing,he has plan for death,he look for ways how todo suicide.Its normal and also dangerous.
Also I have noticed, we need to be so careful ,to think what we say,becauseNow words can come to true!
Doctor,its so easy to say " let go".But not easy to do.But I will try.
Doctor,thank you for your support.Now I need support as never.Until I suffer from this bad feelings,I walk between life and death.I through this hard time in my life.
Doctor,can this bad feelings to be my reaction for stress
? During last 3months Im under stress.