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Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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Hi, Doctor! I come back to you again. I have noticed I have

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Hi, Doctor!
I come back to you again.
I have noticed I have bad feelings attack every two 3 days,same time around 4-5 p.m.. Doctor,why?What is reason?
Im tired already to be suffered from bad feelings!I understand,Im realize everything.I keep situation under control,but I still dont realize why I feel strong fear of death and wish of death same time. I dont understand bad thoughts and feelings came from? Its not my!
Doctor, can you to help me? What is going on?
How to avoid bad thing?
Thank you for your help, Doctor!

Hi there,


Thanks for your question. I am changing the format of your question to Q and A as you are off line at the moment, which means you can read and reply when you are ready.


I would like to explain why this might be happening for you and then suggest who you could see in order to help this to go away. When a highly emotional experience happens, we get a belief lodged in the subconscious mind, which is often unnoticed, but can be very powerful in our daily life. The more we try to forget or push it down, the harder it tries to be noticed. These are the bad thoughts that you are receiving every few days. It is something within your mind that you need to deal with and let go of, so that it doesn't bother you any more.


You mention that the thoughts are about death - both a strong fear and also a wish for death. I am going to give you some examples of what may be causing this - it is very important for you to know that these are only examples - they are not to say these have happened to you - they are for you to read as examples - I would like you to think about what experiences you may have had in the past which may have brought you close to death (eg. an accident, an illness, an injury, a threat?) OR which might have encouraged you to want to die, perhaps by wanting to stay with a person (eg. death of a loved one, abortion, cot death, still born baby, loss of a child, or similar?). OR perhaps you have been in a situation that you have wanted or needed to exit so badly that you have said to yourself - "I would rather die than go through this" - some kind of trauma - rape, child abuse, or something bad. If you can say yes to one of these things above, I would suggest that this is the issue that you need to discuss in order to let these bad thoughts go. It is possible to discuss with a good friend and see if it brings relief - or you may need to see a therapist who can help you. If you have not experienced any of the above, that's fine, it just means that there is something in your subconscious that is trying to tell you something, that you are consciously not aware of. Again, a therapist can help you to find this. Have a look at a therapy called EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, more info at It is a trauma therapy and can help you to let this go. Alternatively, seek a Thought Field Therapist who can help you to collapse the beliefs about death that you are holding

(even if you don't know that you are holding them and if you don't know what they are). The therapists are trained to help you to locate them and let them go. I do hope this is useful for you - I am happy to discuss further if you wish. You don't need to suffer with this - it's OK (and good!) to let it go. Best Wishes, Sarah


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi, doctor!
Thanks for your help!
Yes, 1,5 months ago my papa got his 4 heart attack and 1,5 weeks after he got 5 heart attack and he was between death and life.I worried so much.Becouse I live so far from Ukraine.Its so hard and painful to live so far from parents,who feel not good every year more and more,who need my help and support.I didnot hope my papa will live,will stay with us.After his 5 heart attack my papa went through his heart operation.I was still worried,I had call to my friend from CA and told her "If my papa wilnot go through his operation,of he will dead I will follow him".Doctor,it was just words, I said it and forgot.Thanks GOD, my papa feeling much better then before operation.Now I feel wish of death.Words and feelings are so diffrent! Doctor,its so stressful and painful situation,when you are feeling strong fear of death and same wish of death.You walk between life and death.You try to be strong,to keep situation under control.Now I started to be afraid these critical days!Im scared,shaking,feel nervous,when feel this feelings come to me again.How many hard situation I went through, I never was thinking about this dangerous exit from life.If I was think ,it was just joke,it was not seriose.Becouse all my life Im afraid death so much!Doctor,can you to tell it is normal when person feel good,his life is nice,but one day bad feelings cameto him(to her)?
I understand,if person feel deep depression,he lost interest for everithing,he has plan for death,he look for ways how todo suicide.Its normal and also dangerous.
Also I have noticed, we need to be so careful ,to think what we say,becauseNow words can come to true!
Doctor,its so easy to say " let go".But not easy to do.But I will try.
Doctor,thank you for your support.Now I need support as never.Until I suffer from this bad feelings,I walk between life and death.I through this hard time in my life.
Doctor,can this bad feelings to be my reaction for stress? During last 3months Im under stress.

Hi there,


Thanks for your reply - I need to clarify a few things for you so you do not worry so much. Your papa's health is surely what is worrying you and concerning you at the moment. It is very hard for you now you are a long way from him and you are doing all that you can for him. Tell yourself positive things - that you are doing everything that you can for him from such a long way away.


Now, you say that you have had a fear of death all of your life. So there is probably another memory, far far back in your life, that involved death, or fear of death, or losing a loved one, and I would suggest that the concerns about your father's death are bringing up other worries and anxieties, and bad feelings, from the past. I do not know what this original memory could be - you may be able to recall?


Please hear me when I say that your words and your thoughts are not going to bring about your death - they are linked to the belief that you 'walk between life and death' (your words) but you are not going to die because of them. They are encouraging you to believe this, which makes you very anxious.


Now I want you to do some tapping on your body - using your fingers on your right hand, tap on the side of your palm on your left hand, between the base of your little finger and your wrist and say to yourself 5 times, "Even though I am worried about my papa, I am not going to die". Change over your hands (tap the edge of your right hand using your left fingers) and say 5 times, "even though I am scared of death, I am not going to die". You may feel your body tingle - this is the release of the energy that is holding these beliefs. If you cannot see an EMDR therapist, have a look on the internet for EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - it is very easy - you have just done some of it. Repeat these exercises every time you feel the bad feelings and it should help them to go away. You are a very brave lady and I want you to know that you can take control of your stress. You cannot, ultimately, stop your papa from dying one day, as none of us can stop this from happening to those we love dearly, but your papa will know that you care about him and this will comfort him across the miles. Take care now, remember your exercises and have alook at this site for EFT - Feel free to reply, if my answer has been valuable, please press accept. Best Wishes, Sarah





Edited by Sarah on 1/19/2011 at 11:08 AM EST
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I will. Thank you so much for your recommendations.Its helpful!
But I still keep talk with you,doctor.You help me much!
May be I didnot understand you a little bit or you didnot understand me a little bit. When I say "I walk between life and death during bad feelins attacks" it means I feel strong fear of death and strong wish of death(to hirt self). at same time.I went through this critical situations few time already.It hard time!I understand everything,I realize suicide is not good,I try keep situation under control, Im afraid death and same time I want hurt self,I dont understand why..Yes,doctor, you are right nothig bad will happen to me.If I will be so strong,If I dont let bad wish to kill me.One time I almost loss control .I was so scared!I called to my doctor,asked her help and support.Becouse so hard to keep balance between life and death, so hard to keep situation under control.Doctor,you know ,I started repeat already "you are strong,nothing happened to you"and I started to feel better during this attacks.
Doctor,I didnot understand your question about memory.
I unferstood my feelings are normal now?
Doctor,im so sleepy and I went to bed.
I hope, we soon.
OK, I think you are trying to tell me that you sometimes feel like harming yourself because of these anxieties? It is therefore important that you have someone local who you can call if you feel this happen again, just like you called the doctor, which was great. In the meantime, well done for tapping!!! keep practicing the tapping, you might be surprised how much it can help. Do not worry about my question about your memory. As you continue to tap, you may start to process away stuff during the night and you will continue to feel better and better as every day goes by. Your feelings are normal, they are a normal reaction to something you are worried about. Have a wonderfully refreshing sleep, and you may feel great in the morning. Best Wishes, Sarah

Edited by Sarah on 1/19/2011 at 1:56 PM EST
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Are you still here?
Now I feel very well.Also im feeling finailly I got information,what I wanted to know, since I felt bad feelings.Now I can relax.
Doctor, I think wish of death its wish to hurt self.its same.Nothing wrong.
So,doctor,what you say,everything is right for me.Week I waited for this answer.Jus now I knew what is going on.
Doctor, but I didnot understand why I feel strong fear of death and with of death at the same time? I think so diffrent feelings cannot to be together.
Doctor,if I feel such bad feelings, it doesnot mean Im mental sick, or crazy person.Im normal,healthy person.Im not blame, I feel such bad feelings.If I feel wish of death(to hurt self) its not spesial.I dont want go through this so painful,stressful and critical situation again.
But now,doctor I understand more self murderers.And I feel so sorry for them.They are week unhappy people.I never hadnot havenot and willnot have plan for such dangerous exit from life.My fear of death is much stronger then wish of death(wish to hurt self). It help me to be strong and safity.
Doctor, I have one question more.May I ask you?
Can you tell me, why I have strong attachment to some people in my life?Is it normal?
Thank you so much and for this answer.
Hi there, I am SO pleased that you are feeling so much better. You sound MUCH more positive now that you understand. Remember the doctor is still there if you feel the need to harm yourself (I have to say that because it is professional to remind you). It is also professional practice to say that I cannot make a diagnosis over the computer - so I cannot state categorically that you, or anyone that I write to, is not mentally ill, it's not something I can do without proper assessments. However, you sound like you have much more control of your thoughts, you know you can tap bad thoughts away. Do this exercise for me now - imagine a gift on the ground - it's a gift from yourself, to yourself. You will know what it is, and what it represents. Hold it in the palm of your hand and notice how it fills your body with your favourite colour - and this colour makes you feel good and in control.  Notice how good that feels.  And then you can open your palm and let the gift float away. Now I want you to know that you can do this whenever you need to - imagine the gift on the ground, hold it in your and hand and notice how good you feel. That's great!! With regards XXXXX XXXXX question, I think it would be fair to say that we all have strong connections to some people in life - it's how human beings are meant to live. It's only really a problem if you feel that you are depending upon someone so much that you cannot make decisions or be effective without them. But I think most people need people who they are strongly attached to. So I wouldn't worry. Take care now, Please press accept if you are happy with my answers. Big hug, stay strong, Sarah
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