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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5839
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My boyfriend & I are very compatible except that he says he

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My boyfriend & I are very compatible except that he says he has never been able to sleep in the same bed with anyone. I care about him a great deal, but don't think he is going to budge on this issue. Is this something major I should be concerned about, if we end up getting married? Any recommended reading for me re: same?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 6 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

I understand your concern with your boyfriend not wanting to sleep in the same bed after marriage. Marriage is usually supposed to mean that two people share the same bed. However, the reality is that 10 to 20 percent of couples do not sleep in the same bed. This can be due to a variety of reasons from differences of opinion about the bed to snoring. Couples often have different sleep patterns and this can disrupt sleep. Also, those that do sleep in the same bed often experience frequent night awakenings due to a partners habits and sleep schedules.

Sleep is an essential part of our well being as humans. Without it, we lose concentration, cognitive abilities and the power to control our emotions. It seem as if your boyfriend is aware of this and since he knows his sleep habits, he is letting you know that he prefers to sleep alone. Unless you have any other reason to feel he is deceiving you, you can take him at his word. However, if you feel he does other things to push you away or starts to show signs he is unhappy with the relationship, then seek out a counselor to help you both work through what might be causing the problem.

I hope this helped you,


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