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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4635
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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Ill make this sweet and simple... My husband likes dirty

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I'll make this sweet and simple... My husband likes "dirty" sex; I don't. I don't want to f%$@ I want to make love. We have no intimacy, no hug, no tender kiss; all he wants is for me to dress in a provocative way and when we have sex, once a year... there is no tenderness or caress. I talked to him about this before but nothing change. I have to add that he has ED but he does not want to do nothing about it. He uses some male enhancement drugs but they don't always work. Help! I'm afraid this situation will make me do thing that would kill our 17 years marriage and 30 years of friendship.

Dr. Kaushik :

Hi there,

Dr. Kaushik :

Welcome to Just answer !

Dr. Kaushik :

Well, physical intimacy is a very important part of making a marriage work , but it may so happen that the needs and desires and expectations of both the partners are different from one another , in which case one of the two has to compromise more than the other , and that is what you have been doing all this while . You see both of you nee to be flexible a bit , he needs to do things which should encourage you to do things for him, but nothing is happening like that as he is only looking after his needs and has a very casual approach to making the relationship work on thses grounds , understandably so he may be taking you for granted. But , I think you have had enough , and rightly so you should demand him to bring some sort of intimacy , hugs , kisses into the relationship rather than only sex without any emotions and passion , so a well balanced physical intimacy should be planned , where your needs as well as his are taken care of , and you continue to live happily as a married couple.. For this to happen , both of you have to come out of your shells and comfort levels and try to do things although in moderation initially to make each other happy. I know this is going to be difficult , and since your husband is not co-operating with you , so i would suggest that it is time for you to bring help from a relationship expert who shall put both of you in counseling together and sort out your problems with both of you mutually accepting to try doing things which makes the other partner feel satisfied and content in the relationship .

Dr. Kaushik :

I believe this has to be initiated by you , as you can no longer pretend to be happy , when you are discontent and have some serious issues at the back of your mind which remain unsolved and are having a deteriorating effect on your relationship , so try to your husband to seek marital counseling regarding the intimcay issues and your expectations for each other from a relationship expert , who will also , convince your partner to lay more stress on the treatment of his ED

Dr. Kaushik :

I hope this helps..

Dr. Kaushik :

Wish you all the best..

Dr. Kaushik :

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Dr. Kaushik :

Regards..

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