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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
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Thinking of adopting 9 year old girl from Ukraine, hosting

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Thinking of adopting 9 year old girl from Ukraine, hosting her right now. Seems sexually fast not sure if i am correct. Will kiss me on checks and lips like a make-out kiss without tongue, day 3 here told us name of girls privates in Russian, pretended to take picture of but with clothes on, will go up to husband and batt her eyes however, did find out at orphanage all kids watch what we consider porn videos at orphanage. If this is behavior from that can that be corrected? Grabed at my chest and laughed. Everyday she hits a but or jokes about one. Is this typical?
Thanks, Kim
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.

Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.

First, let me say I can imagine how disturbing this situation must be for you. I have worked with teenage girls from the Ukraine and other countries in that region but this was in an invitational girls' school and they were not orphans. But their behavior was certainly not indicative of this type of training or sexual acting out. The cultural context in the Ukraine is not, to my knowledge, that different from other Western countries like the US. They are often even less forward than American teens.

The explanation that at this orphanage they watched porn videos is itself disturbing. It is only half of an explanation: not only don't we know why they would do this, which is not acceptable behavior in their society, but we also don't know what else was going on in the orphanage. It is very strange to me as a psychologist that such aberrant behavior as showing little girls pron is the ONLY strange thing going on.

So the problem you have is that there is reason to worry about what has happened to her or been done to or with her as well as her inappropriate social cues. She may very well not know that she is being sexual at all. She may be mimicking the videos only as you imply. That in itself will require a commitment from you to retrain her over an extended period of time in appropriate social responses. But you must know that if you commit to this little girl, you will need to get her professional help also in identifying or ruling out any abuse or molestation in her past. It would be irresponsible not to do so.

I wish you the very best!

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