Hi Dr. Michael,
Thank you so much for the advice. You are absolutely right. Of course I knew this all along, but sometimes you need to hear it from an outside party in order for the reality to sink in.
Ironically enough, I felt the need to ask him to leave our apartment on Sunday. He drank a 12-pack plus both Friday and Saturday, and started drinking at 6 AM on Sunday. I got so angry when I saw the heaps of bottles piling up in the kitchen, and I couldn't help myself from saying something to him about it. Not in a nasty way, but I did
say I couldn't understand how he did not see a problem with the numbers of beers he drank.
He of course proceeded to manipulate the situation so that I'm the one at fault for our unhappiness. Please know that I make it a point not to fight in front of our son, so I end up listening to his bs and not reacting until Dylan is out of earshot. This can be very difficult at times, but I do it for the sake of our son.
Once Dylan went down for a nap, I asked him to leave, and he complied. Thankfully I did not hear from him until 7 AM the next morning. During that time I made plans to go back to NJ by the end of this week.
So thank you for giving me perspective on my situation, and giving me the confidence to put change in motion.
Happy New Year!