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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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I have a question about meeting my daughter for the first

Resolved Question:


I have a question about meeting my daughter for the first time, She is 9 years old. I am friends with her mother but only recently discovered I am the father. I have only seen Faith a few times and I dont think she will remember me and she dose not know i am her Dad.
I am not sure how to tell her i am her Father and Im not sure how she is likely to respond,
I would like to get to know her and be a good Father but i dont want to upset her or turn her against her mother, who did tell me she was pregnant but never explained that I might be the Father.

Thank you
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.


It may be helpful if her mother prepares her for your disclosure. She is responsible for withholding the information from both of you for whatever reason. You will not be turning Faith against her mother because you will not be saying anything negative or accusatory. You can let her know that just like her, you did not know you were her Dad.

If possible, the three of you can have an outing and her Mom can prepare the ground by talking about parenthood and how life had been growing up not knowing your father. Then, she can help you with your disclosure.

Children feed off of adult's vibes. If there is tension or animosity, she will pick up o that. On the other hand, if you and her mother are honest and help her get used to the idea, she may actually be relieved to have learned that you're her Dad. Try to learn about Faith and with time, the two of you can establish a relationship.

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