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Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 11 years and I

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I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 11 years and I am going thru a divorce right now...Every time it seems like anything happens in court(He acts very innocent in court..puts on this 'act..very FAKE)that goes against me or doesn't seem fair(the last hearing I didn't even get to speak..the judge just allowed his side..and he LIED about everything!) It just about devastates me! I have always been a very STRONG person...but I now find it hard to get past this - I either want to just give up...or I feel such tremendous hate for him...and that's not something I have ever felt in the past..that I absolutely HATE SOMEONE! I feel sometimes like I am going crazy...Do you think I'm at a point where I need an anti-depressant ..or what? I Do see a therapist(psychologist)..and have been doing pretty well ...but I haven't gotten in lately...and I feel like I am at the end of my rope!
Luann :


Luann :

This behavior is very typical for men who are emotionally abusive. The purpose is to make you feel crazy. He would like nothing better than for you to give up. Get as much support as you can while you are in the court process. Talk to an advocate at a program for victims of abuse, see if they have support groups. See your therapist weekly if possible. Keep talking to your lawyer and friends. Get a daily meditation book that is specifically for women, like "time to fly free:, "the language of letting go" or "the promise of a new day". You can carry this type of book in your purse and read the days reading whenever you need a boost. Surrounding yourself with this kind of support will help you counter his abuse.


So....I appreciate that you think this behavior is typical for these kind of men (Thank God I don't believe I've ever been around someone like this before)...but...the fact that I get SO LOW....SO DISAPPOINTED ..I feel I am just so exhausted from dealing with him all of these years and so I have such little left to help me to 'bounce back'....In a case like this...would an anti-depressant help me?...I have NEVER needed anything like that before...and I have had to deal with some stressful situations in my life too...(Both my parents have passed away...).And I also know that when I DON"T have to deal with him, I DO bounce back pretty well....But now that we are in court at different times with this divorce (He's mad because I am divorcing him...and that doesn't 'look good'...and his 'image' is SO IMPORTANT to him ..) I find it very hard to bounce back....Or do you think just more frequent counseling sessions would help...

Luann :

I think that both things may help you the most. Medication may give you that added boost that you need right now and counseling will help keep your self esteem up. As you are aware, you don't want his tactics to work! You can probably get in to see your regular doctor the quickest, so make an appointment and discuss the medication options. Do everything you can to get yourself through this better than ever.


Thank you for your advice...I will look into what would be an effective mild anti-depressant......and...I will remember what you said...'I DON'T WANT HIS TACTICS TO WORK!!'...He is REALLY an awful man...and I think I NEVER IMAGINED there were people out there like this...That's why it's taken me SO LONG to see the real 'him'....Again...Thanks!...Connie

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