Hello. Welcome to JustAnswer. I am sorry to hear about your feelings. It sounds like you may have signs of depression. On your age (20), you may experience lots of stress
since you are in a transition of life - the beginning of young adulthood that you may need to take new responsibilities. You may need lots of support and help from your family, friends and/or a counselor.
You may try some or all of the following to improve your mood - 1. Exercise moderately, but regularly, 2. Eat healthy but delicious meals, 3. Regularize your sleep cycle, 4. Don't drink to excess or abuse drugs, 5. Spend some time every day in play, 6. Develop recreational outlets that encourage creativity, 7. Distance yourself from destructive situations or people, 8. Practice mindfulness meditation
, or walk, or an intimate talk, every day, 9. Allow yourself to feel pride in your accomplishments, 10, Listen to compliments and expression of affection, 11. Build and use a support system, 12. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations, 13. Challenge yourself, 14. Avoid unstructured time, 15. Practice good personal hygiene, 16. Avoid depressed self-absorption, 17. Cultivate your sense of humor. Also, yoga, meditation, Acupuncture, Guided imagery, and massage therapy may help.
Additionally, you may benefit from seeing a therapist who specializes in Cognitive-Behavior therapy (CBT).
If you are open to counseling,
You can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty as depression. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? Old or young? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee.
To find a specialist in CBT,
you may go to the website of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy (http://www.academyofct.org) in the U.S. and contact the office to get names of psychotherapists in your area -
Academy of Cognitive Therapy/
260 South Broad Street
Philadelphia, PA 19102/
There are three books that may be helpful:
The book "MIND OVER MOOD by Dr. Greenberger and Padesky" may help you to understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings and behavior (action). Also, two books
"Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by McKay and Fanning" and "
The Self-Esteem Workbook by Schiraldi" may help you to work through your self-esteem issues.
I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,