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Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question
Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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I'm suffering from obsessive thoughts about leaving my

Customer Question

I'm suffering from obsessive thoughts about leaving my partner..there are a few scenarios that come and go into my mind but the worst is me thinking about being with somenone else. I cannot determine what I really want and what is a lie coming from my mind..I think of it 24/7 and I feel guilty all the time.. I want to confess but I'm afraid that he's going to leave me. my therapist helps, but the whole procedure of going deeper into the thoughts and examining the reasons that brought them to surface is making me do I get ouf of this?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.


Psychoanalysis may offer a bit more lengthy process to arrive at a conclusion. You may want to explore CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) Obsessive thinking is a sign of depression or even OCD traits. Meanwhile, you can determine when these thoughts started, if something had triggered them, and to address your fear that if you're honest he'd leave you. Try to find out where is this fear of abandonment coming from (past relationship, self fulfilled prophecy, your true desire for a new relationship that you're guilty to admit, etc)

Your anxiety level would also have to be managed whether you're open to trying medication, counseling, hypnosis, natural supplements. It is possible that your obsessive thoughts manifest in order to control the anxiety and may not be fully related to your desire to leave the relationship. Of course, if you feel unfulfilled, want more out of the relationship and he is not able to offer it, it would make sense that you'd want to leave.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you very much for your answer.
I have no actual problem with my relationship and I feel really fulfilled with what my partner gives me and the way we are together. The thoughts started some months ago, after inviting a friend of mine to watch a movie in my place. a few weeks before that I had a huge argument with my boyfriend, because I did something with another man just before we started our relationship. I completely freaked out because he considered leaving me and my body reacted a bit strangely ( itching, crying, low body temperature). after that I started feeling the need to confess everything I thought I did wrong(even if ithappened years ago). One month after the incident the obsessive thoughts became really strong and now I just can't deal with what's real and what not and what I should confess or keep secret..
ps. I will concider beginning with cbt. and will accept your answer as soon as I am in my country, because right now I have no access to my bank account
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.
The itching and crying spells can be triggered by anxiety/stress. You may have associated this state of mind with thoughts of wanting to leave him thinking that the anxiety/physiological response you've had will halt.