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I'm not sure how to help my 17 year old daughter with her…

Customer Question

i'm not sure how to...

i'm not sure how to help my 17 year old daughter with her friend problems, they are unloyal backstabbing and are very hurful. so much that she wants to do independant study. i want to make the right decision

Submitted: 12 years ago.Category: Mental Health

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Answered in 2 minutes by:

10/22/2010

Mental Health Professional: Dr. Olsen, Psychologist replied 12 years ago

Dr. Olsen, Psychologist

Category: Mental Health

Satisfied Customers: 2,336

Experience: PsyD Psychologist

Verified

Hello. Welcome to JustAnswer. I am sorry to hear your daughter's situation. Let me ask you a question before I offer an answer. So is your daughter's choice of friends is poor?

Customer reply replied 12 years ago

Well, I didn't think so but her current friend they've been friends for about the past year. But i feel the this girl is part abusive in the fact they have good weeks where everything is fine and then they have periods of time where they sit at the same table together and she won't acknowledge my daughter but she will everyone else around her. She will also invite my daught to do out of school activities (like Halloween) and then tell her they are no longer getting together or not return her phone calls when they are to get together. What is so hard is that she has always managed to be the one targeted so that she doesn't trust people easily so this to her is one more failed friendship,she doesn't like groups and is pretty insecuree of her self so i think this carries into these relationships. I don't know how to incourage her and how to guide her into a different perception of her self. Her father and I are divorced and she never had a very positive roll in her growing up so i'm afraid that also plays a part. I don't know where to start.

Mental Health Professional: Dr. Olsen, Psychologist replied 12 years ago

Hi, Let me say I can imagine how sad and frustrated this situation must seem to you. Your precious daughter may have difficulty leaving this friendship and find better friends who respect her as a friend. Yes, I think she may need to improve her self-esteem and social skills/Assertive communication skills. She may not recognize that she can make and choose better friends for herself. You may consider taking her to a psychotherapist in your area. She may benefit from attending individual and group counseling that focus self-esteem issues and interpersonal skills. Cognitive-behavior therapy may be helpful. You can search a licensed psychologist/psychotherapist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as Social skills. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy and interpersonal skills. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that she wants to work with – Male or female? Old or young? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you & she can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee. To find a teen group for self-esteem issues and/or social skills group, contact a local hospital/clinic OR call The United Way # 211. The book "The 6 Most Important Decisions You'll Ever Make: A Guide for teens by Covey" may be helpful for her. Please let me know if I have overlooked any or you would like to discuss further. Warm regards,

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