How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Lori Gephart Your Own Question
Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist and Hypnotherapist 20 years of experience helping clients of all ages.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Lori Gephart is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Dear Dr Phil, My wonderful guy is sooo troubled with his 36

Resolved Question:

Dear Dr Phil,
My wonderful guy is sooo troubled with his 36 year old son, still at home, alcoholic, no drive and no prospects for a job. The poor kid had a hellava childhood. Abandoned by his mother, then she committed suicide. Dad raised him with help from Grandma. But Dad has been an enabler. Now he is strapped with a man-son that he can't talk to, doesn't like and it is ruining everything. PLEASE HELP. I want to help, but don't know what to suggest. Can you suggest ANYTHING?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 6 years ago.

Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.

I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing. We are not affiliated with Dr. Phil, but perhaps I can offer some help. It does sound as if your friend has been enabling his adult son. These enabling behaviors, while they may come from a wish to help, are hurtful rather than helpful.

It is important for you to realize that your friend may have a great deal of guilt related to his son that may be causing his enabling behaviors. Unless he forgives himself for any part he feels he had in the issues, he may not be able to stop enabling. You may want to discuss this issue together in such a way where you support his love for his son while you encourage him to begin to see how his interactions with him may be enabling his unhealthy behaviors. Expecting him to behave as a responsible adult, home is not cruel, it is healthy for him. It is important though that your approach does not put your friend in a position where he feels that he has to choose between the two of you, unless this is how you feel. It would also be very reasonable for him to require his son to be in treatment in order to continue to live in his home and also to be actively looking for work or working. If he refuses, there are shelters and other options available. However, you are not in a position to enforce this, and will have to decide if you can accept the decision that your friend makes.

I wish you good luck with this difficult decision. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

Lori Gephart and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Can you suggest a homeless shelter in the Phoenix area that will accept walk-ins?

Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 6 years ago.

You might try the following:


I hope these are helpful. I wish you the best.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you so very much.

Related Mental Health Questions