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Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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I have a seventeen year old special needs daughter that I with

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I have a seventeen year old special needs daughter that I with bathing suit give her a bath. Obviously I have to touch her with a rag. She wears a diaper and obviously does not know how to have good hygien. I receintly, to cut down order, took a hair cutter and cut her pubic hair. Ex wife came unglued and is trying to make something out of it. Is there anything that would preclude my doing this. I have to replace the tampon when she is having a period---what do you think?

Grandfather for the son in this question
H.L. Coats
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Sarah : Hi there,
Sarah : I see you are offline, so I am going to change this question format to question and ansr, so that you can answer in your own time.
Please can I confirm the situation here - you are the grandfather of the son, who has the 17 year old daughter? Your son has cut his daughters pubic hair and your ex daughter in law has become very concerned about this - do I understand this correctly?

Please can you tell me, what is your ex daughter in law insinuating exactly? Many thanks for extra info, I will get back to you tomorrow. It is 11.05pm in England now, so I must sleep for now. Best Wishes, Sarah
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I believe I cancelled my information. I will do again. I don't know what she is attemting to imply. She may be wanting to marry and be able to move out of town and is attempting to gain total control of children. She is dating a convicted felon for public lewness and we can stop the move. I just want to know if his actions are not in line with reasonabliness under the circumstances. He obviously has to bathe her, change her tampon and do her necessary potty work. She is really a four year old and my son does not see a problem. He did the same thing when he lived with his ex. He does take a bath in a bathing suit with her because it is easier and cleaner. She wears a diper and he believes that the hygien is far better with out the additional hair to collect order. I just want an independent opinion.


Hi there,

To me, it sounds very practical and straight forward to remove the hair for hygiene purposes. As you have explained, this girl has a mental age of about four, and therefore her behaviours are such too with regard to toileting etc. A four year old obviously wouldn't have pubic hair getting in the way of toileting, so from that point of view, I would agree that there is no problem. Also, if he did the same thing when he lived with his ex, I presume that he had his wife's consent at the time. I would wonder perhaps why his wife didn't do this at the time, as I would always suggest that for a female to do this would be more appropriate. However, if his wife is no longer there, then needs must. He is her dad, after all. I would be more concerned about the nature of the offense committed by the ex wife's new boyfriend and how that may impact upon such a vulnerable girl, but that is a separate issue? I'm not sure about your feelings about this, so i can say that my answer is unbiased. Does that answer your question and give a valuable view? Best Wishes, Sarah
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