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Pamela, LCSW
Pamela, LCSW, Psychotherapist/MSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 747
Experience:  25 years of experience in private practice and inpatient psychiatry;licensed in two states
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When you feel that you have no motivation left, and apathy

Resolved Question:

when you feel that you have no motivation left, and apathy has set in, how does one keep pretending that life is worth it. I know you put one foot in front of the other and take it hour by hour...doing that. But when you are unable to express your complete disappointment at what your life has been and don't see love or belonging in the future, where the hell do you try to direct your thoughts to go?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Pamela, LCSW replied 6 years ago.
Hello and thank you for contacting Just Answer:
I am sorry that you are feeling so badly. It sounds like you are in the process of re-evaluating your life-maybe a mid-life crisis of sorts. You mention that you have tried antidepressants, but only mention lexapro. Most times, people have to try several different combinations of medication before they find the one that works for them. I mention this because having these feelings continually is not normal and you should not have to suffer like this. I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in depression to explore other options for you.
In terms of therapy-wonder if you have tried Cognitive-Behavioral therapy. This is an approach that challenges your negative thoughts and beliefs and helps you to think in a more constructive way. I think there is also room in therapy to say: " I am disgusted with my life and to mourn it for as long as you need to, with the goal of moving forward. A good therapist can help you find ways that feel comfortable for you to move in a different direction. The other thing that I am thinking about is whether you have any interests that you are passionate about and are good at. People tend to nurture their self esteem by getting positive reinforcement from things they are good at. If you were to participate, for example, with a group of people who share a hobby ( like quilting for ex.), then the focus becomes on the activity and that is what the conversation centers around-this might be a way to make some connections and in a less frightening way.

I hope that some of these ideas have been useful to you and I wish you luck,

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you Pamela,

First I am a bit concerned at the hour at which you are working? I thought I would have a response from someone within Australia.. You must be ready for bed!

I have tried other medications and they did work wonders at first then as time went by, years, I moved on to others as I found my anxious and dark thoughts would soon return.

I believe that my thoughts become negative because I seem to attract a lot of 'drama' in my life, or perhaps create it even. Not intentionally however.

I am not someone who can't see light, or opportunity, or the humour of things, I have a warp sense of humour even in the most saddest of situations, how else do you get through? I have an open mind to many different ways of perceiving life, situations and the way people behave. So it's not that I am always sad or feeling down.

It's just that I this deep sadness that runs deep underneath it all.

When things fall in a heap ( lose a job, end a relationship, I discover more about the world and what's going on, all for profit...) I lose heart. I ponder why, why, why we as humans do what we do to each other and ourselves....

Without the love of my dog, his unconditional warmth and acceptance, I would probably prefer to just end it. But I don't want to have to do something violent to myself to achieve it. I don't want to hurt the people that love me. But my soul says it's had enough of this seemingly pretentious existance.

I have not had CBT but have read about it. And again, it's really good. for a while.....

Mid-life crisis? um I have been thinking and feeling this way for the last 40 years... so I must have just your average brain disfunction thing.

Can I on the one hand, see a beautiful world and be in such awe of nature, animals and the feeling of love and yet still be depressed because I am not able to fit in with what most people seem to do with their lives.

Because I question relentlessly, and find it difficult to just settle, does that mean I am depressed?

Expert:  Pamela, LCSW replied 6 years ago.
Thanks for your concern-I am a night owl. It is hard to say if you are depressed or a very deep thinker. Most times, when people are gifted in an artistic or musical way, they often use their dark thoughts for their art and to their benefit. I would always be concerned, however that there might be an underlying depression. I mention this since you describe your love of nature and animals in such a beautiful way.
You mention your dog-I wonder if you have ever tried a dog walking group or pet lovers group-you may find kindred souls in something like this. And, yes, you could be right, that you are someone who is ?eccentric and does not fit in with others In my experience, however, people with continual dark thoughts usually have an underlying depression.
Another type of therapy that you may not have tried is DBT-dialectical behavioral therapy. This is a didactic group in which members are taught tools to avoid impulsive or "dramatic' scenarios. I am not sure that this is right for you, but thought I would give you the info..

Hope this helps,

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I recently spoke to my GP about my concerns re finding an outlet for some of my 'anger' at injustice at the workplace ( I did some carework in an agedcare facility and came across some power hunger and ego-driven nursing staff who seemed not to have the best interest of the elderly clients at heart. I witnessed some cruelty and wanted to intervene, only to be told, it's not your job. Just do what the nurses tell you and let the system continue. Needless to say my anger expressed itself verbally to someone who was my superior and I lost my job.

I get so anger at myself for not 'being able to play the game better' for not 'having the patience' to wait it out instead, as others do.

Instead I want change immediately, to stop the rough and unkind treatment of these people who have lost their voice through dementia.

BLa, bla. This is the kind of Drama I have, often.

My GP said he had no answer to where I could go. So I left his office in tears of humilitation and frustration. I felt that the answer was to shut my big mouth and get on with it like others do. And I have.

Found myself another job, I always do. But this whole week all I can think about doing is packing up my car, putting Lou (my dog) in the back and taking off. JUst driving to wherever the road takes me. I have no children or debt so there is nothing stopping me but my fear. I would like to work on organic farms for food and accommodation. Just take it one day at a time and maybe meet some really interesting people along the way....Is this a really dramatic and silly thing to want to do? Is it childish, unrealistic and an excuse? Or am I justified in thinking, the time is right, life is short and who would it harm anyway. WIth Lou, I feel safe.

Expert:  Howard replied 6 years ago.
Hi, I'm Howard (male 53)
Ya know, how long you lived in your present community?
Expert:  Pamela, LCSW replied 6 years ago.
Hello Again,
Sorry to hear that you have had difficulty with your work situation. The option that I mentioned before, DBT, I think might be a good one for you. It teaches you how to catch yourself before you explode with anger and act in a way that may not be constructive for you or others. Look up DBT groups and hopefully you can find one in your area.

Best Wishes,

Pamela, LCSW, Psychotherapist/MSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 747
Experience: 25 years of experience in private practice and inpatient psychiatry;licensed in two states
Pamela, LCSW and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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