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Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 358
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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I am a 33 year old woman who has dated numerous men. I've

Customer Question

Hello, I am a 33 year old woman who has dated numerous men. I've noticed a patter when dating someone. No matter how much I start out liking him, all at once, usually when the relationship looks like it's going to get serious, I freak out and I fall out of love with him. It feels like a sick anxiety, and I want to push him away. I've found someone who I believe is truly right and good for me, and I don't want to mess it up. I'm beginning to feel myself closing up. What do I do?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. K replied 6 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
Dr. K :

What specific methods have you tried for understanding your past?

Dr. K :

Have you seen a therapist or goan to ACOA meetings?

Customer:

Hello, I've read a book that described the basics of attachment. I haven't been to a therapist or to any meetings.

Customer:

I've also recently quit drinking, I've been sober since May 1st.

Dr. K :

Ok, so the good news is that you know part of the problem stems from your relationship with your father. But just knowing this doesn't make the issue resolve immediately. You need to explore this issue over time (i would start with either an individual psychotherapy or group therapy via ACOA meetings). Therapy is like a sculpting: You start with a jagged, unformed rock and slowly chip away until you create a beautiful sculpture. It takes a little bit of time but does work.

Dr. K :

Quitting drinking was an excellent idea...keep it up...and if urges come back consider treatment for that (usually 12 step programs

Dr. K :

like AA are the best.

Customer:

Ok. the acoa meetings sound good. I will give them a try.

Dr. K :

What else can I answer for you?

Customer:

I guess not.

Customer:

Thank you.

Dr. K :

Please don't forget to hit the ACCEPT button and provide expert feedback.