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One thing is to find your local NAMI (National Association of Mental Illness) chapter at http://www.nami.org/. Through them you can meet with other people in your situation and learn from them.
The difficult thing here for you is accepting your helplessness. If he won't return any phone calls, you can always write him a letter or email. Let him know that you understand he is going through a tough time & needs his space...and that you will be there to support him when he's ready.
I would also talk to his other family & friends so you guys can try to be a united group to help him. Here is a good book that may help: Living With Someone Who's Living With Bipolar Disorder: A Practical Guide for Family, Friends, and Coworkers by Chelsea Lowe. Reading and understanding more about bipolar will help you to help him.
And if he's not in treatment but willing to go, look for some good local referrals for him. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have other questions. Good luck & take care.
That could definitely bring on an episode. Episode in bipolar can occur even without any triggers (esp. if the person isn't in treatment); so even if someone is in treatment (medications and psychotherapy), even a minor stress can trigger an episode...and this sounds like quite a major stress.
It sounds like you are already a step ahead of me and have done many of the right things without results...which brings me back to my earlier point of accepting your own helplessness. If you continue to struggle with this issue, it would likely help for you to see a therapist.
On the one hand, you can empathize with him and be patient. But if this goes on for a long time, that's not fair to you...and then you need to consider when is it time for you to move on with your life. You deserve to be happy and be with someone who makes you happy. Although understanding his illness can help you with his behavior (cutting you off), having bipolar doesn't give him an excuse to treat you like that. If he comes back around he still needs to be willing to work on himself and learn to not cut you off in the future. I hope this makes sense.
Let me know if you have still have other questions.
thankyou for your very imformative answer
i have been thinking along the same lines myself about the bi polar not being an excuse for cutting me off
but then other people have been telling me different and saying it is all down to that as he has not just cut you off but everyone else too as far as we can make out....
do you think going over to visit him where he lives would be a disaster.....
would he talk to me do you think or just blank me or would seeing me make him worse and push him further away
There is a fine balance...on the one hand you can forgive him cutting you off (esp as its everyone, not just you), but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have to take responsibility for this and work on correcting it. Otherwise, you (and the others) enable him to continue using this isolation as a coping mechanism.
I don't think going there to visit him is a good idea unless he is in agreement with the idea. You'll spend lots of money and everyone will get more upset...a disaster as you said. Although it might show him how much you care, it's more likely to push him further away. Take care.
this is not a question so i do not expect an answer
its just to say thankyou for your answers they were very helpful and confirmed everything i had been thinking already
and even though i cannot afford 16.00 at the moment well worth it
as my daughter of 29 split her achillies heel in two 5 weeks ago and i have had to stop work for 2 monthes to look after her and her 10 year old daughter and 4 month old son
so it has been a very stressful time in my life lately so i didend up at the g.p this week to get signed of work for a few more weeks as not coping too well
but thankyou for your advice and help
take care yourself (rosie)