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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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i finished with my ex bcause of his constant jealousy. he was

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i finished with my ex bcause of his constant jealousy. he was very paranoid, he had no reason to be i never went out and on the occasions i did he accused me of flirting and being unfaithfull.if he felt insecure he would start playing mind games and being nasty which is why i ended the relationship. i still love him but he has really damaged my my mental state. since we have broke up he has tried every trick possible to hurt me from telling people lies about me telling me he is going to ruin my life, sleeping with women and then telling me, using my children to hurt me. there is no reasoning with him. the police have got invoved as he stole my door keys. how do i handle this? im trying to move on i have been out on nights with my friends but he turns up and calls me names like slag etc. i cant move on. he told me he hates me and doe snt want me back so why is he causing so much hurt. this is making me very depressed and dont know how to handle him.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 6 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems with your ex. It sounds like the whole situation has been upsetting and frustrating. Your ex seems to have some mental health problems that make it difficult to impossible for him to be in a relationship. It sounds like you did the right thing by deciding to not see him anymore. His behavior since then, however, is disturbing, and I can understand your concern. He is trying to intimidate you and control you, and you are allowing him to do so by thinking that you can't move on from this. He is trying to hurt you because you ended the relationship - he feels rejected, and his (immature) way of handling that is to try to hurt and humiliate you. There is no point trying to understand his behavior beyond that fact that he is immature. The best thing for you would be for you to ignore him, and stop trying to figure him out. Don't get hooked into feeling bad or guilty because he says he hates you. You took care of yourself (smartly) by ending the relationship. So give him as little of your attention as you can - ignore what he says and does - and eventually he will tire of this game and move on. He isn't worth your time or concern. Keep your distance, and don't give him any more thought. You will feel better soon and you will have the opportunity to have a healthy relationship with someone else.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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