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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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My HUSBAND has been off work originally a burst appendix and

Resolved Question:

My HUSBAND has been off work originally a burst appendix and then further complications has caused him to be off work now for 22months life is unbearable at home with 2 children 18yrs and 13 yrs he sleeps alot has no energy lost his libido angry all the time is very contradictory on what he wants aggressive will not accept help has been on holiday alone 5 occasions will not talk family life is like a time bomb very aggressive and has become obsessive about germ and clealiness seems to think we the family are the problem it is totally wearing me down and attemps by me to get him to a doctor for help has failed everytime my children want me to get them out of the situation and have asked me for help what help can we get after living with these moods swings and violence and strange behaviour it is like living with a dead man walking and getting us all very down a freind suggested that I ask my doctor to refer me to Mind is this the best route? I want to leave the marital home with the children but fear my husband would be much worse a lone.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

You're doing lots of 'right' things...don't think that just because your husband isn't getting better that you're on the wrong path. He does need medical treatment, but as you've found out, you can't make him stick with it.

Taking care of your children and yourself is what you can focus on and have more control over. Mind is a good program. I think you would benefit from the support and information you can find there - it will help you make a decision about whether it's best to stay with your husband or leave, and the steps through that process.

Your husband's disease will get progressively worse if you stay or go, so it's best for you to take care of yourself and the children first. His disease is taking him down - you don't want to add you & the children to the vic***** *****st...that gives the disease too much power. You can see how it's taken him over. Things like this can take a whole family down by the sheer stress of living like you're walking on eggshells for years.

You're not alone in your struggles, and this isn't your fault. You didn't cause it, can't control it and you can't cure it. Mental illness is a problem he has to face to get better. Leaving him may give him the push that he needs to change.

My best to you.

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