How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Carol Kryder LMFT Your Own Question
Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Carol Kryder LMFT is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 16 year old boy is out of control! he is verbally abusive

This answer was rated:

my 16 year old boy is out of control! he is verbally abusive to everyone, is lazy, argumentative, accepts no responsibility for his actions, always turns things around and tyies to blame us for his issues. etc. i need to know what i should do?
Chat Conversation Started
Carol Kryder LMFT :

Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. Your question is not closed until you are satisfied. I am happy to assist you with your question.

Carol Kryder LMFT :

This is a serious situation. Your son is out of control, and he needs to begin experiencing consequences of his behavior. You and his father need to establish the rules and enforce them consistently. If he escalates, he will need treatment by an adolescent specialist and possibly medication.

Carol Kryder LMFT :

No amount of reasoning or negotiating will change him. You need to set limits and enforce consequences. This will be hard to do, so you may wish to engage the services of a family therapist for support. You might also check into residential treatment options for this boy. Is he using drugs or alcohol?


he doesn't believe he has a problem. he thinks it's us. We farm for a living and my oldest son is 18 and has been helping since he was 9. When we let him drive a tractor when he was 10 he poke holes in the insulation for no reason. he is extremely jealous of his brother but his brother works and he doesn't. He accuses us of favoring his brother. When we ask him to help he throws temper tantrums and twists everything around to blame us. I have been told I am not a mother because he picks fights with his brother and wants me to protect him. we don't have health insurance that would cover couseling i think we reallyneed help

Carol Kryder LMFT :

Yes, you do need help, and I am not sure how much I can do with this online format. He is angry and obviously competitive with his brother. You need to encourage him to express his feelings and tell you about his anger. If you listen without judging or criticizing he will be able to calm down a little. He is carrying this resentment around and it is growing because he has no way to release it. Just listening to him and letting him vent about how unfair his life is will do wonders. Remember, you don't need to agree with what he is saying or act on what he says, you just need to listen without criticizing and whatever you do, don't compare him to his brother.

Carol Kryder LMFT and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you