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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I am currenty in a relationship with a woman who is polar.

Customer Question

I am currenty in a relationship with a woman who is Bi polar. She is currently experiencing some signs of bipolar depression, she is seeing her providor tomorrow. My question is I have been catching her in lies and she does no seem to be making decisions like she normally would. In response I wrote her a letter confronting the lies and her decisions, all the while telling her that these things were hurtful to me but I loved unconditionally very much. Was my response to harsh? Could that type of response do more harm than good?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this situation. Bipolar can be a very difficult disorder to deal with, and it is hard to know sometimes what is the best way to deal with people. However, in answer to your question, no, I don't think that your response was too harsh. Your girlfriend needs to know how her behavior is affecting you, as it is ultimately her responsibility to deal with her moods and determine how she is going to handle them. Not telling her the truth isn't going to do anyone any good, and will only lead to you feeling resentful of her behaviors. Continue to be honest with her about how her behavior affects you and what you will and won't tolerate. She may not like it, but she needs to figure out how to be in a healthy relationship, and honesty is the only way to get there.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Tamara and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you for your response, it puts my mind at easy. My girlfriend has been very responsible with her treatment. She has been doing well for so long that we both missed the signs that depression was beginning, I feel bad about that. I told her we need to communicate better about her illness and be more vigilant. She is a loveky woman and I love her very much. I harbor no illusions about her illness and the difficulties I will face in the future. But this is new to me and responding to her in the right manner is uncharted waters. I guess I will learn. Thank you again.
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
You're very welcome. I'm glad to hear that you are talking and that you are both committed, together, to staying on top of her illness. It takes time to learn and know how to respond - so you're doing the right thing by asking questions and being open. I wish you both the best. Tamara