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Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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hi, i have a 15 month old daughter that touches everything

Resolved Question:

i have a 15 month old daughter that touches everything and puts everything in her mouth, she also cries alot when someone who is in the room leaves. she also wants to stay in some friends house and cries alot when i say no. can you pelase help me and give me suggestions on how to correct her behaviour.
thanks in advance,
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Sarah replied 6 years ago.

Thanks for your question. I understand it can be frustrating when a young child does so many things that we don't want them to do, but having read your question a couple of times, I can safely say that everything that you mention suggests that your child is developing normally and naturally. A small child will often investigate objects by placing them in their mouths, so that they can explore the different textures and temperatures of the objects around her. Although we only see this behaviour as "putting things in her mouth that she shouldn't" she is actually learning a great deal from this. Obviously that doesn't mean that you can allow her to put small objects in her mouth as the major fear is of her choking. make sure that small objects, even tiny pieces of toys are out of reach. Allow your daughter the freedom to put her baby toys her mouth -many toys for this age are designed specifically for this purpose, with different textures to them. That's also why so many baby toys have different textures, sounds, smells, patterns, etc. for this stage of life, because they learn so very much from them. Toys that are black and white a very good because the difference in colour is very clear. If you don't have access to such toys, decide on some things that your daughter can place in her mouth safely, such as a baby spoon -too big to swallow, soft and gentle on the mouth. this is sometimes why some people prefer their children not to have a soother, because it reduces the childs desire to explore other things around her. When she places something in her mouth that isn't allowed, gently take it away and tell her firmly 'no, it's too small' or 'no, not that one'. If she cries, replace it with something she can play with. Well done for talking to her, she will be listening to you, enjoying the tone of your voice, even if she doesn't understand all of what you're saying yet. She will pick up when you are being firm and when you are happy and playful through the changes in your voice tone. Try and remind yourself that she is learning and it would be more worrying if she wasn't interested in the environment around her.

As for your daughters crying when you leave the room, again, this is all part of normal development. She is starting to realise that she is separate from you and that you can be in a different place to her (babies believe that they are part of the mummy for a long time) and she is simply telling you that she prefers it when you are with her. Again, a very natural stage of development. You could choose to take her with you every time you leave the room (but she will cry all the more if you leave her and there may be times when she cannot be with you) or you could simply tell her that you will return in a few minutes and make sure that you do. That way, she will start to learn that she can trust you to return and she will be happy to know that you will come back to her. Eventually she will be crawling and up on her feet, when she will have more freedom and no doubt she will come to find you. There is many a mum who complains that they "can't even go to the toilet in peace" because the little ones love to follow! The fact that your daughter likes to stay at a friends house suggests that she likes new environments and is happy to be there, which is great. these are all skills that will help your daughter in the future.

i wonder if you have thought about getting a book about child care and what it all means? I had one when my first child was born and I learnt so much through it, and it meant so much to be able to understand what and why my daughter was doing stuff. Some are written in question and answer format and I found that really helpful. have a look on ebay or amazon and if you can't buy one, perhaps you could get one from the library. take your daughter with you and get her used to looking at the baby books, it's great if children are used to books because they can learn so much and they're lovely to share at this age. i would say there is nothing unusual from what I have read about your daughter, she is developing well and frustrating as it is, try and enjoy it. There will be a time when you realise that she has been listening and she does know what 'no' means, so keep at it, you're doing great! best wishes, Sarah
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
hi Sarah,
can you please suggest some books so i can look them up.
thanks for your help and answer, i would like to know what the charges would be on my credit card.
Expert:  Sarah replied 6 years ago.
hello Mona,

I have just found the one that I LOVED when my daughter was small - this reference is taken from Amazon, where you can see it is quite cheap at the moment - I am sure it will be worth every penny that you spend as there isn't much it doesn't tell you. It's broken down into stages of development, telling you what you can expect from your child, what is above and below average development in each area, for example, speech, growth, hand eye co-ordination, you name it, they tell you about it at each stage. Then it has questions and answers for each stage, again, covering most things that you can possibly worry about with a child. i had other books, but to be honest, I can't recall what they were, because this became my bible. In terms of your bill, if you press the 'accept' button, then you will be charged the amount that you stated that you would pay, $22.70, and I will receive half of that for my time. I wish you the very best with your daughter, keep talking to her, have lots of fun and she will reward you in the years to come. best wishes, Sarah

What to Expect: The Toddler Years by Heidi E. Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg, and Sandee E. Hathaway (Paperback - 1 Mar 1996)
9 new from £3.99 61 used from £0.01