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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I am a 33 year old mother of 2 children, with a very busy

Customer Question

I am a 33 year old mother of 2 children, with a very busy job. My husband has ruined my life, emotionally and physically abused me for years.
I want to leave him, but I feel very depressed, scared. I do not have any friends or family closeby. I feel alone and I feel I cannot carry on any longer. I dont know what to do. Can you help me?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having these problems. It sounds like you have had a difficult time with your husband being emotionally and physically abusive. I know this can leave you feeling lonely, depressed, and scared. But you are doing the right thing by wanting to get away from this, and by reaching out for help.

Even though you don't have family or friends nearby, I would encourage you to contact your family and talk with them about your situation. You will need their support, even if they aren't physically close to you. Have them help you figure out what to do to leave your husband. If necessary, contact your local domestic violence shelter, as they can give you a lot of information and support, as well as a place to stay, if necessary.

I know this feels overwhelming right now, but it is possible to get away from this relationship and to start your life over. You can do this - and you need to for yourself and for your children.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
My parents are already old and have their own problems and live out of USA. I do not want to burden them with my problems. I know they will become very sad. Me and my husband though we live in the same house we are not speaking to each other for few weeks now. We speak via sms if needed. He has lost my love and trust. We both want to divorce each other but we are sacred of what the society will say. I feel very depressed and keep fighting thoughts of ending my life. I want to live for my kids. But I feel so depressed becuase of my husband. I feel he ruined my life, I feel very angry that he took advantage of me. He now says he will divorce me and will marry again and he says he wont repeat the same mistakes he did with me. This makes me very very angry. I feel that if i take medications for depression then I will have problems finding a good job becoz people will be biased. I am well eduacted. I can take care of myself and my kids, but I feel so depressed and I keep fighting thoughts of ending my life and I feel like giving up. But my kids are the only reason I still exist.
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Ok, so your parents aren't an option. But that doesn't mean that you can't leave this marriage and get on with your life. I you both want a divorce, then get on with it. No one is going to judge you - divorce is so common these days that no one gives it a second thought. Your husband ruined your life, and he will continue to do so unless you get out. I know it is hard to believe right now, but I can promise you that he isn't going to get into another relationship and treat her well. He may tell you that - but that isn't how it's going to happen. He will be the same in his next relationship as he is in this one. And with regard to medication, no one needs to know you are on medication. Plenty of people are on medication and it doesn't have any kind of negative impact on their jobs or how they are perceived. If you are feeling suicidal, then you need to call 911 or take yourself to the ER for help. But this isn't worth ending your life over. Your kids need you - but you also need to be able to get past this and realize that you can have a good life. Get the help you need - support, medication, etc, and get out. Things won't get better until you do. Good luck. Tamara
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