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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD with hyperactivity

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My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD with hyperactivity "off the scale". He also suffers from autism and was born with serious heart problems. I decided long ago not to medicate but find his non compliance/demand avoidance difficult to manage. For example, he has serious toileting problems but will do everything but sit on the toilet.

What is demand avoidance and am I making things worse by 'demanding' he comply? He is 9 and very,very bright. Has the fact that he has had one to one carers at school/nursury since the age of 3 got anything to do with it? He always seemed to get the better of them by finding out their weakness and using it to manipulate/destroy them emotionally. He reduced one very experienced lady used to autistic children to tears. All but one lasted only 6 months. Please help, its not funny as he's just been thrown out of school.
Your desire to avoid medication is a common one in mother's. However, with severe behavior problems, it becomes the last resort. It is usually about this age than parents, throw in the towel and say," I give up, please help" when every other intervention has been tried.

He should see a child psychiatrist who can inform you of your options regarding medication. You directly mentioned ADHD but I am also hearing some aggressive and non-compliant tendencies (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) in your examples. Let the doctors know about this as well so that the correct medication is prescribed to target both of these behaviors.

Do not worry...the medication should not change his personality or turn him into a zombie. That is not the goal of medication. If it does, it is not the right medication or the right dose.

I hope this helps to give you the permission you need to try "the last resort".

Warm regards,
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