Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I assume that you mean Borderline Personality Disorder
, rather than Bipolar
Disorder. It seems that you are getting into a situation that you will probably not be able to fix, and in a sense may drag yourself into a terrible situation that will bring no joy, and end badly.
Do you want to "fix" this woman because you would then be following in the footsteps of your dad, who fixed his wife? You must question these motives as they seem to be part of your thinking.
I see you heading towards a shipwreck. You plan seems misconceived, and you seem to be disregarding all of the important facts:
- The woman does not live close by
- She may be suffering from a disorder that is very hard to cure or make better
- She already has a boyfriend, who sounds like he might be a lot more difficult to handle, and you will have to get past him first.
- She is living in a totally dysfunctional family, with three of the four children major concerns.
- There is also an ex-husband in the picture, who adds to the unknown
- You probably don't know most of the background yet, but the worst is usually kept in the shadows.
You say that you have strong feelings for this woman whom you hardly know. Perhaps you are attached to have the opportunity to be a healer. You can see the light and ease these feelings out of your mind. They are dysfunctional.
My frank advice to you is to run away from this scene. It is futile. You will not win. You will lose. Please stop deluding yourself, unless you have an unconscious desire for self-abuse, endless stress
, self-sabotage, and crushing anxiety
Though I do not support your plan, I do support you and have given you what I deem good advice. If I have given you important food for thought, or a reality check, please accept my answer and allow me to continue the important work of helping others in pain and need.
Courage and blessings,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC