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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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My son is almost 3 yrs old and i see him every weekend. he

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my son is almost 3 yrs old and i see him every weekend. he has been acting out more than normal during drop off and pick up times. once when i dropped him off he watched me from his moms' window banging his head against it and screaming and crying for me not to leave. the last time his mom came to pick him up from my grandparents he pitched a fit and didn't want to go to her and told her to go away. it is always difficult to leave him and he protests 9 times out of 10, but the tantrums seem to be getting worse and i don't think it's natural for a child not to want to go to his mom. he also never wants me to call her for him to talk with her. what do i do. i am very worried about him and want him to love and feel loved by us both.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems with your son. I know that it's very hard for you, as his parents, to see him having such a hard time. Three years old can be difficult because at that age children begin to develop a greater understanding of their separateness from their parents, and it can thus be a time of increased fear, clinginess, neediness, etc. Children at this age often develop nightmares and other sleeping problems that seem to reflect this fear of potential abandonment. You are doing the right thing by reassuring him and allowing him to have access to either of you if he wants to. He may be more attached to you right now because he isn't seeing you very often. Do your best to be patient with him and to talk with him about what is bothering him. Don't be afraid to ask him why he doesn't want to go with his mother (no suggestive questions). It may be something relatively simple that can be addressed, or it may be more complicated - or he may just not know why. Give him lots of love and reassurance, and it should begin to pass, hopefully soon. If it doesn't seem to be getting any better within a couple of months, you may want to consider taking him to a child psychologist to see if you can get a better handle on what is going on. But I suspect that won't be necessary.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
She seems to think he doesn't need to see me this week because of this problem and that he shouldn't see my parents or grandparents as much. I don't think this is the answer do you