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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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My husband is a compulsive liar, weve been married for

Customer Question

My husband is a compulsive liar, weve been married for almost 8 years now we have 2 children and he is a great father. We almost lost our house 3 years ago because he never told me that he didnt pay it for. I only found out when they came to put our house on auction, at the same time I found out that he wasnt paying any of his accounts. So I decided to take over the finances it cost us R60 000 to stop the aution and I had to sort out all the other accounts. The ironic thing is Im the only one who is blacklisted. After that there was other situations that was caused by his lying to much to mention. Two weeks ago his boss called me telling me that his been steeling from him. I dont know how to carrie on like this but I do love him. I did make an appointment at a psyc. I am thinking of leaving him, what should I do.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

He certainly has a problem, and my first guess is that he either is suffering from Mania or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which are medical issues. So your appointment with a psychiatrist is the first order of business. He may also have a hidden addiction that is controlling his's hard to tell from here, but a good doctor can evaluate him and find out. Make sure you attend the appointment with him to give all the info that he might leave out.

I would recommend counseling for you so that you can sort out your feelings of love and betrayal. You may need to leave him to protect you and your children's future, but this is a decision that needs to be examined in light of all the information alongside who you are, and where your strengths lie. In the meantime, keep yourself healthy and active so that you'll have the strength to face this most difficult situation. It isn't going to go away very quickly and you're going to need all the support you can get.

My best to you.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
lt;p>"For Anna"</p><p class="text-15-black">Would you sugest coupels therapy or induvidual counseling, the problem for me is Ive been hurt so many times I dont know if I will ever be able to trust him again. I am a perfectionist, and according to me everything needs to be in place,I HATE LYING, I try to tell the truth all the time, I dont like owing people money and Im a christian so I dont understand steeling. All of this is really embarresing to me. Is it possible for someone with those diseases that you mentioned to be cured? I think I am a strong person do you think there is a chance that our relationship can survive this? I know it is almost impossible to answer me because you dont know us, but just in general do you think a relationship like this stands a chance.</p>
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
relationships like this can survive, but the odds are tough. Both people need to want it. Your husband needs a lot of help and accountability to an outside source. This isn't something you can solve between you two alone. With good help and motivation, couples can get through almost anything. You have to be careful that you don't interpret that to mean you have to stuff all your feelings and help him get better. He has to get better with the care of heathcare professionals. You can start this off with couples work to draw up your expectations, but then you both need to work on your individual issues before the coupleship can be healed.

If you google 'bipolar family support', you'll find lots of help and understanding of the situation you're in, which can be priceless. If you don't make sure you're getting support, you can easily get sucked under. Then his disease will have 2 victims: him and you. You don't want that.

Take care!