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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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My husband has this false reality that the world his out to

Resolved Question:

My husband has this false reality that the world his out to get him. He now has it out for my sister who's birthday is ***** weekend. He is putting people down and when I try to talk to him about it he just says "what do they do for me" and "why should I do anything for anyone." The fact is that many of the people around him do a lot for him but he just doesn't see it. How do I help him see the bigger picture and in the mean time not turn the people who love him away?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 7 years ago.
Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. Your question is not closed until you are satisfied with the answer.

I think you have hit the nail on the head. He is jealous of your relationship with your family and sees it as an "me versus them" situation. This is very difficult to address. Try having a talk with him and instead of showing him how much they do for him, which you already know he is rejecting, tell him how much he means to you and suggest things you can do together to strengthen your relationship. It is wrong of him to try to force you to choose between him and your family, but that is what you are dealing with right now.

The bot***** *****ne is to work toward showing him that his position in your life is secure and although your family is important to you, so is he. This will be a difficult balancing act for you. Above all, don't try to talk him out of his feelings. He is entitled to his feelings, wrong though they may be. Just keep showing him that you love and care for him, and he will eventually let go of this resentment he has toward your family.

You have a rough patch ahead, but you can get through it. I wish you well.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Thank you so much for your response. I am crying while reading it, it upsets me so. I also wanted to add something. When we first met 10 years ago we went through a rough patch. He was diagonosed with Clinical Depression and put on medication. This helped a lot. He was depressed in the sense that he felt nothing, not happiness for others nor sadness. Just blah. Anyway, the meds seemed to help. However, about 6 months ago he stopped taking the medication that he had been taking for about 5 years altogether. Many things in our life seemed to change for him. He lost weight (over 50 lbs), we had a baby and bought our first home. Finances have been a huge issue lately, however he has been much happier with all the changes in his life.

My question is do you think I should talk to him about going back to see the doctor and going back on the medication (although it kills me to do so), or do you not think this anxiety that he is having about my relationship with my family is not really related?

Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 7 years ago.
Good question.

I think they are separate issues, but I also think the medication will stop him from obsessing about your family and make him less irritable. I would say "Do it."
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