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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I think my husband is insecure as over the years he brings

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I think my husband is insecure as over the years he brings up his adoption, loss of his adopted dad, his divorce with his ex wife, and the lack of finances whenever things don't go his way. Also if I go out with friends or work colleagues he comments on what i'm wearing and texts odd messages while i'm out. This has become worse over the last 2 months since he had an outburst while we were away for the weekend. He said he didn't want to be there. It really hurt me and i've been very distant since. His actions mentioned above are worse than ever. He's even resorted to updating his facebook status by saying he's useless, and better off dead. I am wondering if there is something along the mental health lines or just emotional blackmail?
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

I suspect it might be a bit of both: depression and controlling behavior. I would recommend that he be evaluated for depression by his GP. If that doesn't work, then you can try couple's counseling, but I suspect he has mental health issues that are driving him off the road right now. His acting out and putting that stuff on facebook are cries for help.

But about you: you have to work on setting your boundaries with this man so that while he's in this odd phase, his illness doesn't take both you and he down with it. Being kind to both of you right now is the key...kind enough to get him to the doctor and kind to you by not getting lost in the craziness.


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