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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I need help making decisions. I'm in a foreign country,

Customer Question

I need help making decisions. I'm in a foreign country, difficulties with culture, especially in home and work life. Boyfriend is in crisis, I can't keep up with his erratic behavior and moods. I am prone to extreme loneliness. While I make dozens of effective survival and day-to-day decisions, I am unable to remember what makes me happy and how to make effective long-term decisions, especially while living what can only be described as a temporary life. I have lived in three homes, none of which are conducive to relaxing into my visit. My current one is cold and includes a controlling roommate. I spend most of my time in the local library, but evenings and weekends are unbearable. I can "go home" to the States but it requires starting over and I don't know what I want to do next.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

I suspect that there a chance that you're suffering from the symptoms of clinical depression. It sounds like you're doing all the right things that would bring a person out of the rut and connecting in all the right ways, but it isn't working. This brings me to think of you having a problem within yourself, or that you're in a situation that isn't going to be able to overcome. Here is a link on depression...see if that fits at all, and if so, talk to a doctor about being evaluated for treatment. When a person is depressed, it's hard to follow your thoughts through so that you can make decisions that are good in the long run. Treatment energizes you and can counter the effects of long term stress which depletes the brain chemicals and zaps a person out.

There are also situations in which the work of a relationship is too much for a person to bear. If your boyfriend is overwhelmed by his problems, you may be sympathizing too much (feeling his feelings).

Keep doing what you're's all the right stuff. All I would add is an evaluation for depression. Keep in mind that clinical depression isn't about feeling sad (although sometimes that is a symptom), it's about the depression of brain chemicals and can come into a person's life for many reasons.

My best to you.

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