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My wife is in love with her girlfriend/ partner of 3 years…

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My wife is in love...
My wife is in love with her girlfriend/sexual partner of 3 years and can't decide between us. We've been together for 17 yrs and have 2 young children together. What should I do?
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 51 minutes by:
6/30/2010
Mental Health Professional: Anna, Mental Health Professional replied 8 years ago
Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,945
Experience: Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
Verified
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

Families come in all shapes and sizes....and they always have. People are just more open about it now. You can decide if you want to live in a relationship with 2 other people if you want to...plenty of people do this. You can also decide that you don't want to be kept on the fence. You may not want to be married to a bisexual woman.

I think that YOU need to decide what YOU want and then you'll know what you can put on the table to offer her. Three years is a long time to be held hostage while someone decides, and most people wouldn't be able to take that long of a period of uncertainty. You can decide when the experiment ends for you and then let her know what options you'll accept and the ones that you won't.

So I suggest that independent of her desires, that you decide what you're willing to bargain with and put it on the table. She's had the ball in her court for too long and couldn't make a decision. You can be the one that makes the decision.

My best to you.

If you would, please fill out the feedback form after accepting. I appreciate this opportunity to help you out today. If I can be of further service to you, just put "for Anna" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it.

Thanks!

Anna

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Ok, well up to just last week I've been trying feverishly for the past two months to snap her back to reality. They haven't been together for 3 yrs solid. "Mel" moved to NY for almost two years and they barely talked. Then she came back this past October and they rekindled their relationship and all I kept saying to my wife was that she wasn't doing it in moderation, she spent almost all of her free time with her. This only got serious this year, before it was just a sexual release for my wife. Now I'm actually ready for a divorce cuz my wife is so messed up, her words not mine. I've gotten to the angry stage, but up till now have tried everything to get her back. Now that she seems ready to let go of Mel and try and work this out I'm feeling anger and resentment towards her....
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Anna, Mental Health Professional
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