Mental Health

Have mental health questions? Ask a psychiatrist online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I keep sabotaging my marriage by talking to an ex boyfriend…

Customer Question
i keep sabotaging my marriage...
i keep sabotaging my marriage by talking to an ex boyfriend who happens to be the biological father of my 15 month old son...
i love my husband and we are currently in counseling but not sure its working or maybe i have no clue what to do to stop...
My husband and i have been together for 13 years married for 12 we did seperate 2 times one time because of infidelitiy on his part and one time for my part.
He has become the father of my child and is on the birth certificate as his father... he is a great dad...the other guy tells me constantly he loves me and wants us but my husband forgets to tell me these things. i myself am a counselor by trade which can make cousneling challenging anyway...my parents fought constantly while i was a child and still do actually...even when we go over with their grandson they still fight with each other they have been married for over 40 years
i dont know what to do and my marriage may be on the line now i really dont want to screw up anymore...
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 12 minutes by:
6/16/2010
Mental Health Professional: Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist replied 8 years ago
Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,073
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
Verified
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these problems. But you are right, you are sabotaging your marriage with your choices, so it is important that you figure out how to stop having contact with your ex boyfriend. You need to work on your marriage with your husband, and you don't need to be complicating it by carrying on with another man. You are hearing things you want to hear. That's nice, but that isn't real. It's easy for this man to say all those nice things - he's not married to you. Your husband is married to you, and marriage is about a lot more than hearing "I love you" all the time. Granted, you need to have that. But don't kid yourself that this other person would make everything better for you. Work on your marriage, and don't talk with this other person. Period. You are only confusing the situation, and that isn't fair to you or your husband.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a mental health professionalLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask Tamara Your Own Question
Tamara
Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,073
1,073 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified

Tamara is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Therapist

4,111 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
Dr. Rossi, I am a 48 year old woman who has been separated
Dr. Rossi, I am a 48 year old woman who has been separated from her husband for 16 months. We were married for 22 years and had what I thought was a fairy tale marriage. I am a child psychologist and … read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
9,633 satisfied customers
I have a 15 year old son. My ex-husband raised him from
Hello, I have a 15 year old son. My ex-husband raised him from birth and there have been doubts about who his biological father was from the beginning. I asked my ex if he wanted to get a DNA test at … read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,014 satisfied customers
My son's birth father whose never been in our lives, started
My son's birth father whose never been in our lives, started calling on and off when my son was 17. my son is now 24. his birth father said he regrets not marrying me and being there for my son. I'm m… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
967 satisfied customers
Should I tell my 27 year old son that his biological father
Should I tell my 27 year old son that his biological father is not the dad that raised him. Is it worth the hurt that it will cause him and other family members?… read more
Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor
Psychotherapist Family Therapist Author
Master's Degree
62 satisfied customers
I told my husband that I dont want to be with him anymore
I told my husband that I dont want to be with him anymore cause he was careless and rude to me through my pain. We are married only 4 months My husband is under so much stress. Has to take care of his… read more
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,177 satisfied customers
My husband is 16 years younger than me. We have been married
My husband is 16 years younger than me. We have been married for 15 1/2 years, together for almost 18 years. He is going to be 44 this month. We have no children together, I have a grown son from a pr… read more
MN Psychiatrist
MN Psychiatrist
Psychiatrist
Doctor of Medicine
791 satisfied customers
My ex-husband is over 30K behind in child support, i have
My ex-husband is over 30K behind in child support, i have tried everything i can do to get the money. it is being handled but the man doesnt work and lives out of state so there is only so much i can … read more
Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist
Doctoral Degree
550 satisfied customers
I am still in love with my ex-husband. We were married in
I am still in love with my ex-husband. We were married in 1975 at 18. We got divorced in 1976 because someone told me he cheated on me, which was a lie. My parents had just been thru a divorce over ch… read more
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Doctoral Degree
1,564 satisfied customers
I am the mother of a 28 year old female, and grandmother of
Hi, I am the mother of a 28 year old female, and grandmother of a two and a half year old grandson, my grandson has a vp shunt from shaken baby syndrome by his biological father, at least 4 seperate i… read more
Kevin Kappler
Kevin Kappler
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
353 satisfied customers
My fiance proposed last september. When I asked him about
My fiance proposed last september. When I asked him about the wedding plans he said it we will get married when it feels right. He has four children from a previous marriage. I have three children fro… read more
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Doctoral Degree
1,564 satisfied customers
I would like an advice on an adult who when they have access
I would like an advice on an adult who when they have access to children for an extended period of time of the chances that this person may not bring the children back to the mother. On two occasions … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
450 satisfied customers
I have been married for the 7 years and have a 6 year old
I have been married for the 7 years and have a 6 year old son. I have been having a affair during the whole time with a ex boyfriend who is also married but now going through a divorce. My husband and… read more
Cathy
Cathy
Master's Degree
221 satisfied customers
I married my husband after dating for six months so he could
I married my husband after dating for six months so he could stay in the US. I'm older, 39, and want to have a child, but I really don't like the guy. How wrong is it to stay with someone just to have… read more
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,177 satisfied customers
I was married to my ex-husband for 25 years. During our
I was married to my ex-husband for 25 years. During our marriage he had a one-night stand which produced a child. We had one son together. This child he had wants to have a sibling relationship with m… read more
Howard
Howard
Associate Degree
180 satisfied customers
I have 3 children. I am divorced from my husband. I have
I have 3 children. I am divorced from my husband. I have been subjected to what I think is sociopathic behaviour exhibited from a woman who has for the past 15 years controlled the fate of my children… read more
Fabio Goderecci
Fabio Goderecci
Private Psychiatrist, CEO
Psychiatrist, Psychotherapist, MD
135 satisfied customers
My daughter just found out that the father of her 7 year old
My daughter just found out that the father of her 7 year old son is not the biological father. A couple of weeks ago, she broke the news to the father and Grandparents who have been very supportive in… read more
Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT
Private Practice
Master\u0027s Degree
802 satisfied customers
My daughter who lives with me and my wife has a little boy
my daughter who lives with me and my wife has a little boy age four.The father is an ex boyfriend of hers who gets to take him twice a week.Lately my grandson has been coming home very upset,he tells … read more
Norman M.
Norman M.
Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Adv Dip Psychotherapy (with Distinc
2,246 satisfied customers
Well, i have a 6 years old son from my first husband.. my
well, i have a 6 years old son from my first husband.. my problem is i got divorced from my first husband when my child was 2 years old and i get married again a year later (my boy age was 3 years whe… read more
Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT
Private Practice
Master\u0027s Degree
802 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x