Mental Health

Have mental health questions? Ask a psychiatrist online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I think I need help. I just can't stop lying.

Customer Question
I think I need help. I just can't stop lying.
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Mental Health
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 3 minutes by:
6/14/2010
Mental Health Professional: Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA replied 8 years ago
Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2,568
Experience: ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.
Verified

Hello, and thanks for visiting JA.


We humans only indulge in behaviour that brings reward of some kind. Only when that reward (whatever it might be) disappears, or the consequences of our behaviour promise to be unpleasant do we consider changing what we do.

You lie basically because you get a reward out of it. Now that reward could be almost anything -it could be that you look better to those you are lying to, that you get away with hiding things you don't want known about, that you get a better job because you make your self out to be more qualified than you are - the possibilities are endless.

However, at the root of things, you lie either because you get something out of it or avoid negative consequences by doing so.

You can be truthful - if you are prepared to accept and deal with the consequences, and that is what you need to be aiming towards.


I’m going to suggest that you would benefit greatly from a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.

CBT is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.

These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them. We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.

If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted, the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful.


The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.

Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.


Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates. Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.


Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.


Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

If you cannot afford to see a therapist, there are good free CBT based self-help resources here:

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/cbtstep1.htm

Best wishes,

NormanM



Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a mental health professionalLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask Norman M. Your Own Question
Norman M.
Norman M.
Norman M., Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2,568
2,568 Satisfied Customers
Experience: ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Norman M. is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Therapist

4,111 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,568 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I'm a mess, No doctors, no meds, What should be relevant?
Hi JA: Hello. What is your issue regarding? Customer: I'm a mess JA: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking? Customer: No doctors, no meds JA: Anything else in your med… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
1,159 satisfied customers
My ex husband has accused me for years of having bipolar
my ex husband has accused me for years of having bipolar disorder and recently told the kids i have schizophrenia which neither is true.... i was diagnosed 12 years ago with ADHD and recently metaboli… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
Can a pathological liar be helped? I've been married to my
Can a pathological liar be helped? I've been married to my husband for 8 years now. We have 1 daughter together (3 years old). My husband began our marriage with lies ("my sister is a doctor," "I own … read more
KansasTherapist
KansasTherapist
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
121 satisfied customers
I think I may have a problem I can't seem to stop lying
I think I may have a problem I can't seem to stop lying about anything and everything. I make up story's and convince myself that they are true. I am also having relationship problems because I can't … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
205 satisfied customers
What should i do, my wife has lied to me, and is completly
what should i do, my wife has lied to me, and is completly deniying everything, and telling me i need to prove it.… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
My husband of 1 year has repeatedly lied. Small lies most of
My husband of 1 year has repeatedly lied. Small lies most of the time but nevertheless, out right LIES! It's usually about contact with other females, like his sister or step daughter. He can never co… read more
Kevin Kappler
Kevin Kappler
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
353 satisfied customers
I am a chronic big liar. No lies for me. I simply continue
I am a chronic big liar. No white lies for me. I simply continue to create these large lies and I want to stop. I've been trying to stop. I've been meditating regularly. I've tried to change my ways. … read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
I've found this quite hard to talk about. And admitting it
Hello, I've found this quite hard to talk about. And admitting it to myself was the hardest thing I have ever done. I am a 20 year old male and about 5 years ago or so, I started to lie. I don't know … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I need help to stop lying i am 57 years old and this is
i need help to stop lying i am 57 years old and this is killing me please can someone help me… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I have a question about how to maintain a relationship with
I have a question about how to maintain a relationship with my mother when we disagree about things relating to another relative. This other relative has a history of lying and she does not seem to se… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
My boyfriend is a great guy, but he's a pathological liar,
My boyfriend is a great guy, but he's a pathological liar, it's hurting our relationship how do i help? He is so bad at it, he will tell you a lie, and swear on his dad grave that died years ago, he w… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
My widowed sister-in-law has recently become involved again
my widowed sister-in-law has recently become involved again with her high school sweetheart whom she says she is still in love with. My husband and I found out that he has been lying to her about so m… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
My brother (who is SMI, last diagnosis was shizoaffective)
My brother (who is SMI, last diagnosis was shizoaffective) seems to lie all of the time. Is this a typical sysmptom? It's driving my mother and father nuts! They don't know if they should believe him … read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
450 satisfied customers
I'm 29 years old and i can't stop lying. i make up elaborate
i'm 29 years old and i can't stop lying. i make up elaborate stories and tell them to my closest loved ones. i have no idea why and i hate myself after and feel guilty but i can't help it.… read more
Dr John B
Dr John B
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
557 satisfied customers
My wife say she cant trust me because i lye i need help i
my wife say she cant trust me because i lye i need help i dont know what to do i got busted texting her freind she thinks i was trying to have sex with her but all it was is texting i ask to see pic b… read more
Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT
Private Practice
Master\u0027s Degree
802 satisfied customers
My son is 17 nearly 18 years old. Up until about 18 months
My son is 17 nearly 18 years old. Up until about 18 months ago he has been golden. He just can't stop lying all the time. He's bought security wear and carried out a security role around the parks, bu… read more
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Licensed Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
1,524 satisfied customers
I need help with compulsive lying, I start lying when i'm
I need help with compulsive lying, I start lying when i'm under pressure from my girl friend, when I get lazy and I also do this out of habit and this is ruining our relationship. It's not big lies ju… read more
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Doctoral Degree
1,564 satisfied customers
I have been followed around by a group of individuals for
I have been followed around by a group of individuals for many years. They are engaging in acts of "gangstalking" against me. They do many things to assault me psychologically. In the past, when I hav… read more
Tamara
Tamara
Psychotherapist
Master\u0027s Degree
1,071 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x