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Doctor Blake
Doctor Blake, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 146
Experience:  Ph.D., Ed.S., NCSP Clinical Psychologist; 15+ years of experience; dual licensure
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I have met a lady of 37 years old and have a short of

Resolved Question:

I have met a lady of 37 years old and have a short of relation ( short because of distance ) five months now. We met each other after a period of a month ( we live 500km apart) and after that, we have spent five weekends together. There was from the moment we have spoken on the telephone and until now, an unbelievable touch and we love each other too much. I mean I am willing to do lots of things for her almost anything I guess , even to change my way of living. The problem for me is that she is having this bipolar disorder and she is under a medical treatment. I am calling it a problem, because I did not have any knowledge about it and it is sometimes very difficult for me, to follow her ups and downs. And they change without any notice.
She is using quite a lot of xanax pils in order to sleep, among the others. I care too much for her but it is very difficult for me to keep me sometimes out, not willing even to speak. Lately, talking for family plans, I feel suddenly scared.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Doctor Blake replied 7 years ago.

Good morning.

Thanks for writing to JA.

Thank you also for writing the detailed and useful information you provided about your current situation. This type of information is very helpful for us, so that we can know the full context of your question.

Here's the tricky part: I can *guess* what your question (or question(s)) might be... but I don't want to make any assumptions. If you could craft 1-3 very specific questions for us to address, we would be able to better target our responses to meet your needs.

Please take a moment to consider what you would specifically like to ask... and let us know. Please understand that REPLYing to this message and providing your specific questions doesn't cost anything - it just helps us to focus our response.

Thanks so much.

Expert:  Doctor Blake replied 7 years ago.


I inadvertently posted the previous reply as an "ANSWER" when it was meant as a "NEEDS MORE INFORMATION." My apologies in advance. If you answered my previous post and were charged, please accept my sincere apologies... and I will make every effort to request a refund <OR> to answer your specific question without charge.

My sincere apologies.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you very much for your response. It is my first attempt using this site and when I was ready to make my questions, I found out that there was a limit of characters.
Anyway, as I have told you, it is a difficult situation for me this love affair because I do not have the experience in bipolar disorder. I wanted to know if there is a chance of complete recovery of my girl, or if it is a special approach from me to her to somehow soften the results of ups and mostly downs. I do not know also if it is a good approach to let her act and speak to me badly and when she calms down, to discuss about it. Because I feel that humiliating me and not fighting back perhaps diminishing me in her conscience and will do things worse. Is there any treatment without drugs? And is it a wise idea and mostly safe, to raise a family, having babies? I love her too much and if I a had to leave her, I feel that she will not stand it. I do not in the idea anyway, how about her? Thank you in advance
Expert:  Doctor Blake replied 7 years ago.

Thanks for your speedy reply... and thanks for your questions.

Q1: "is a chance of complete recovery of my girl, or if it is a special approach from me to her to somehow soften the results of ups and mostly downs?" If your lady-friend has Bipolar Disorder (meaning if she was correctly diagnosed as Bipolar) then she is likely to have Bipolar Disorder for the rest of her life. Most licensed mental health professionals (LMHP) view Bipolar as a chronic condition that is managed rather than cured. It is a brain-based disorder that manifests itself in neurologic, psychiatric, behavioral, and social symptoms.

Q2: "Is there any treatment without drugs?" Yes. There are treatments available that can help ameliorate the symptoms of Bipolar disorder - meaning to help manage those ups & downs and to help with communication among family members. It is important to note that this treatment is used to manage the symptoms of the disorder, not to cure the disease.

You raise a number of important questions about your new significant other. Many of these questions can be discussed with a licensed mental health professional (LMHP), including the folks who work directly work with her. (It would be difficult, if not impossible, to address all of your questions through this limited medium.) I might also suggest that you consider:

David Milkowitz "The Bipolar Disorder Survivor Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know"

Julie Fast & John Preston "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder"

While I have not personally read these books, they have come highly recommended by families coping with Bipolar Disorder.

It is important for you to realize that there are many people who manage their Bipolar Disorder very well - and lead happy, productive lives - complete with families. There can be struggles, certainly, but the best medicine for you (and your new mate) is to get as much information as you can about Bipolar Disorder, to follow recommended treatment protocols to treat the disorder, and to establish good healthy patterns of communication within your family unit.

I hope you found this helpful.

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