How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question
Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My boyfriend has completely shut me out emotionally. He

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend has completely shut me out emotionally. He claims he adores me but he's not sure what the right thing to do is. He claims he wants a family with me and a marriage, but that he can't control this shuttinmg down mechanism. He is 30 year sold & says this has happened in every relationship he has been in. No relationship of his has gone past 7 or 8 months. Why is he doing this ? And what should my reaction be ?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Evening,

Your reaction should be one of concern (it does not seem that he is seeking long term commitment) The reasons for this may be many. 1/ he feels that he is too young to settle down, does not want to take on family and fatherhood responsibilities, 2/fears that he would be the one hurt by his partner and therefore withdraws first as a defense mechanism 3/ he truly does not know what he wants out of life and what his priorities may be. The issue here is if he indeed cannot control this behavior or that he is not willing to try. Stay on guard and try to really find out what is going on. If he does not what he wants to do, then he can take different steps to figure it out- counseling, self help/soul searching, making a list of short and long term goals, offering suggestions of what some of your contribution to his self examination may be (couple's therapy, couple's retreat, etc) Do not take it light that he is saying he does not know and when he tells you the same thing over and over. Why should you be the one in limbo?

Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap by Bryn C. Collins

Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
He is not opne to couple's therapy. He figures if we need counseling this early on in our relationship its not worth the trouble. We went on vacation this past long weekend and that is where everything came to a head, I spent a day and a half in tears. I haven't spoken to him since Monday when he dropped me off at home. What is the appropriate course of action at this point ?

Related Mental Health Questions