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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I'm a lifelong sufferer of OCD, and lately have been having

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I'm a lifelong sufferer of OCD, and lately have been having obsessions about the possibility of developing feelings for another person despite the fact that I am in a happy, love-filled relationship. I get worried about whether or not I were to feel feelings for an old crush, or maybe develop some type of feelings for another person, would invalidate my love for this other person. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what is normal thinking, so I'm curious if in your professional experience you've seen people in substantial, adult relationships still get feelings for other people? It's hard for me to discern "good feelings" from "you like this person" during my more OCD periods, so I'm having an exhausting amount of stress about this. I love my girlfriend considerably, but I get so worked up about feeling things about ex's or old crushes. What is normal? Is it really all about thought vs. action?
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

You sound like your OCD is really revving up, which is common in the springtime. I agree that it's time to up the SSRI and work on your CBT. You can go to this link for online self-help short courses that are free. site

As far as the feelings go, I wouldn't trust them unless you were in a comfortable, stable state. It sounds like you're lost splitting hairs and wondering what is right or wrong, real or unreal. Those aren't signs of attraction, they're signs of OCD.

Yes, adults get feelings for others even when they're in a substantial relationship, but they pass through their mind like a breath of air and then go away. When that doesn't happen, it's time to work on your CBT techniques and have your meds evaluated.

OCD Worksheet

You can use the above worksheet to map it out for yourself.

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