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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My husband lost his lovely mother and became depressed. It

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My husband lost his lovely mother and became depressed. It was a reactive depression to the loss of his mother but at the same time he was suffereing extreme work stress. It went undiagnosed for 6months until he was finally diagnosed and given antidepressants by the GP. By this time he was very unhappy and wanted a divorce from me although i love him very much. He wanted to change everything in his life and has been very successful in doing so. Could his strong urge to divorce stem from the depression? When he feels better could he be likely to regret his decision?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.


First anti depressants are least effectice on reactive depressions and more successful on chemical inbalances which is not your ex's case. It sounds like he is running away from everything thinking that this, including the divorce will relieve him of his depressive state which certainly is not the case. I would leave the channels of communication as open as possible. There is a chance that when he realizes his running including from you that there is a chance that you were one of his strong support systems and he may wish to return assuming you at the time feel similarly. Be sure to avoid pushing-leave things open ended. I have been involved in several cases where a raproachment took place 6 months to 2 years after the divorce. I would not place a great deal of hope as that is just setting youself up to be more depressed should he not choose to return. I wish you the best.



Ralph LMHC

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

what is effective in treating reactive depression?

Could the depression be causing him to lose his feelings of love for me and is it possible that these feelings may return when he/if indeed he ever feels better?

Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.
The most effective treatment for reactive depression is called CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

. In CBT, one is taught new ways of thinking and behaving and as a result, one's mood improve and anxiety decrease. In addition CBT is evidenced based as the most effective form of treating depressin and anxiety. See:

As I stated before the depression could well be the cause for his loosing positive feelings for everything in his life, including you and it may be possible that when and if his depression lifts he will seek to rekindle his loving feelings towards you. There are no guarantees, but it certainly can happen and I have seen it occur.


Ralph LMHC

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