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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My husband and I have been married 23 years and have what I

Resolved Question:

my husband and I have been married 23 years and have what I believe to be better than most marriage. he had also been in a job most of those years that he began to hate. now he says he needs to separate from me for a while. he feels lost, he says he loves me but is not in love with me. is this a midlife crisi?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

From what you describe it does sound like the classical symptoms of a mid life crisis which manifests as depression. I would recommend the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In CBT, one is taught new ways of thinking and behaving and as a result, one's mood improves. anxiety decrease. In addition CBT is evidenced based as the most effective form of treating anxiety and depression.

See:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/therapies/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx

Best wishes and good luck.

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
when he decided to leave a couple of days ago I tried to get him to tell me more about how he was feeling or what I may have done. he said that he doesn't know what triggered it or when exactly, but for the past year and a half he has been unhappy,wants to be in love again and as far as our marriage, all aspects were great, except during the marriage he felt I talked to him disrespectfully ***** ***** after the loss of our son 4 yrs ago and he was right, so i corrected it. is this still classic symptoms of midlife crisis?
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

I still think this is a factor of midlife crisis. I would suggest that you don't push and leave it open ended. Allow him some space. That does not guarantee a reconciliation, but if you push it, you are sure (in my opinion) to drive him further away. Good luck and try to be patient.

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
one more thing, is it ok to send him info i have accumulated on middle age crisis and your response.
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

I don't think that would work in your interest at this time, maybe in a few weeks, but right now allow him the space that he is demonstrating that he wants.

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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