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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My husband has not been intimate with me for nearly two years.

Resolved Question:

My husband has not been intimate with me for nearly two years. He suffers from retarded ejaculation. He refuses to seek treatment. He is not able to have relations with me and therefore we will not ever be able to have children. I am 38. I have been seeing somebody else. My husband is also very controlling about every aspect of life, including money and everyday matters like how the house is decorated. He has chosen all the decor and tends to move my things out of the way and into piles in corners. He can be very generous and yet snap instantly. He is very neurotic and is rarely upbeat. We have been together for 10 years. In this time I have felt myself slowly getting more and more depressed and feeling more and more lonely and to be frank, rejected. He has used pornography as well as flirting with younger women. I have seen other people and so he says he is justified in not wanting to be intimate with me. Is he justified?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.


It sounds as if your relationship is one in name only. His problem and the multiple infidelities is really not a justification assuming that there is a mutual desire to reconciliate. As I see it there are really two issues and to modalities to attempt to solve the problem.


First and most importantly is there a desire by both parties to maintain the relation. This would be done in exploration in marital therapy. A good therapist can be obtained from . If the answer is no there is no sense in trying to solve the sexual problem and work on the marriage.


However if the answer is yes the sexual problem can be solve with some work with a competent sexual therapist. A good one cane be obtained from the .


Whatever the case staying in limbo is a terrible solution. Again In answer to your first question, infidelities by one spouse does not justify similar action by ones mate..Good luck.




Ralph LMHC

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