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Gina P
Gina P, LCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 175
Experience:  MSW, LCSW, PIP
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I have had Major Depression from time to time for most of my

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I have had Major Depression from time to time for most of my life. (I am a 69year old female). I have had a good outcome over the past two years with a new psychiatrist, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a psychologist and a balance of medication, Nardil and percyazine, which has worked well for the last 5 years.

I am experiencing difficulty in a new relationship with a man who on the whole treats me with great respect.(I have not had a relatinship for many years, although I have male friends). This has been going only for a couple of months. I have difficulty handling his firendships with other women - one in particular. We are both members of a social group, and I am sometimes on my guard which is a strain for me. Iam developing symptoms of anxiety and depression and feel quite immobilised. Would appreciate any comments or advice from you. Thank you. Elaine
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Gina P replied 7 years ago.


Thank you for using Just Answer.

Indications of good mental health include relationships. It sounds as if you have mastered the symptoms of depression without external influences. However, now you are bringing an outside influence in, so will need some adjustment in the way you perceive the situation.

Any new relationship brings about some anxiety simply because it is new and unpredictable. As you become more confident in the relationship itself, these symptoms usually dissipate. However, you are focused on the other people he know, rather than enjoying the relationship itself.

The goal of having a partner is to enhance our lives and provide more fulfilling emotions. It sounds as if this is having the negative effect on you, and probably has to do with your own insecurities, rather than the reality of the situation.

Start by evaluating what you are getting from the relationship and if is worth the emotional difficulties you are experiencing. Next, determine if you are willing to accept the relationship as it stands. You also have male friends, and shouldn't have to give those up. And lastly, insecurities like this in relationships stem from low self esteem. Instead of using external items to distract yourself, try working on yourself.

Make some lists of the positive characteristics you have, and what you bring into a relationship. Work on this every day, and write down at least 10 things you like about yourself. Each day write 10 different things, but read the ones you have already written. This will help you develop some confidence in yourself, and hopefully not be so focused on your insecurities.

If your man is worth anything he will also be able to see your positive characteristics. At least you will be able to see what is really good about yourself.

Please let me know if you have other questions. Gina

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