Hi Jac and thanks for the additional information which helps a lot.
Lets break this down.
1. It seems your friend has a history of maladaptive behaviors
2. She has children who may be at risk due to her poor choices but as of today, you have no reason to believe that they are at imminent risk for serious harm
3. It is abundantly clear that you have made yourself available to her and offered (very generously I might add) all manner of support and care
4. You believe that it would be husband who would have to take her in for help.
I think I have this all straight, but if I am mistaken please do correct me.
While you still have not provided any example of how your friend is behaving dangerously I will go with your judgment and say this.
That you cannot do a thing to change her and if her behavior is impacting your life so negatively as to cause you physical symptoms, well, I have to go with your husband on this and tell you to stay away from her. Terminate your friendship and move on and dotn look back.
I have no idea what you are alluding to when you talk about her being at risk but I can assure you that millions of people every day behave in emotionally manipulative ways. You and I may not like this, but that is a reality.
She is an adult and you cannot change an adult, especially one who sees no reason to change.
Stay far away from her, protect your health first and worry no further.
I am sorry there are no magic cures for what you describe, but the expert answer here is to remove yourself from a frustrating personal relationship and dont worry about it again.
Warm regards ***** ***** I think your husband is right on this jac.
Have a wonderful weekend and good Easter Holiday if you celebrate it.