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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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My question is about my mother not me, but I'm hoping you

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My question is about my mother not me, but I'm hoping you can give some advice. To get to the question I feel like I need to go back. When I was 7 my parents divorced I don't really remember a lot about it now I'm 42 but I know I wasn't happy and my Dad was quite strict/angry/controlling. After he left it was better but then my mum started saying things that hurt me and I had a feeling from her that I was a nuisance and I felt unwanted. As I got older she got more controlling too, her opinion was the only opinion accepted and I soon learnt not to question her because the level of anger from her was massive, as I got to age 11 she started hitting me when she got really angry. This died off after I was 18 but her control issues and manipulation were still there. Now she's older and nothing is ever right:too hot/cold/loud/quiet. She gets huge panic attacks causing her to wretch and she can't be left alone eg her partner going to stay with a son, she rearranges my sisters house. Is she ill
Hi there. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sorry you have experienced these issues with your mother. It sounds like growing up with her was very difficult, and your relationship with her has continued to be so. Based on what you have said, I would say that it would be very helpful to take her to a psychiatrist. She likely has a personality disorder in addition to anxiety issues and even possibly depression. She should be treated by someone who can provide medication as well as some therapy for her - which would be a psychiatrist. There is no need for you to suffer any longer because of her abusive personality. Take her to a psychiatrist, and hopefully she can become easier to be around.

In addition, you may want to consider getting some therapy for yourself. Growing up with someone like her can be very damaging, and it would be helpful for you to work through some of those issues, as it will help you figure out how to better deal with her also.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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