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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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My girlfriend of 7 months is an ex lap dancer. when She

Customer Question

hi, my girlfriend of 7 months is an ex lap dancer.
when She first told me back when we started dating i was shocked but since i had already got to know her and really like her, I thought it would be wrong and judgemental of me to stop seeing her.
I mean she stopped dancing about 12 or 14 years ago, and long before i came around.
I have goten to accept her and her past, but sometimes I'll start thinking about it and picturing things in my head and it will really p**S me off.
I love this girl to bits and I know she is also crazy about me and we have a great time together. Lots of love and laughs.
But sometimes when I'm on my own I'll think about her past and I don't want it to ruin what we've got.
Your help would be very much appreciated.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi there. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

I'm sure this is a difficult situation for you to deal with sometimes. You seem to have a good perspective on it - it's her past, you weren't around, and you love her. But even so, occasionally those thoughts come through and make you upset.

If she is understanding about this, you may want to talk with her so she can remind you that those things don't matter, they're in the past, and she loves you. You're also going to have to do some work yourself on not letting those thoughts stick around once they come into your mind. Tell yourself "STOP", and start thinking about something else. Keep doing that until you can change the thoughts. Remind yourself of everything you know to be true - don't let yourself focus on what is upsetting. After a period of time, the thoughts will happen less, and hopefully go away. The most important thing is that you don't let them take hold when they come into your mind. Everyone has thoughts that are disturbing - it's what you do with them that makes the difference.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara