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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I am dating someone who has schizophrenia and am aware of

Customer Question

hi I am dating someone who has schizophrenia and am aware of the symptoms. At the moment I am finding it hard to deal with some of the symptoms and wondering how we can make our relationship work, when it seems that at the moment I don't seem to be getting any feelings that he is enjoying my company because the emotions just never change and what do i do when he experiencing a hallucination??
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi there. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

Well, you have certainly undertaken a relationship that is going to be challenging for you to deal with. As you are aware of the symptoms of schizophrenia, you know that you are wanting to make a relationship work with someone who is lacking many of the skills and perceptions necessary to do that. This is understandably hard for you to deal with because you aren't getting anything back from him emotionally. So making this relationship work is going to require you to let go of your expectations, as well as any needs you may have to get something back from him. Sometimes he will be able to do that, and sometimes he won't. But there is nothing you can do to change any of that - all you can do is accept it.

In terms of the hallucinations, you need to be support and assure him that they are not real. Don't argue with him as that will likely agitate him. Just be there and be supportive, but don't go along with the hallucinations.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thanks for replying but it didn't give me much help or tips on how to go about making this relationship work. You just confirmed what I knew. As far as hallucinations go he never talks about them to me so how am I supposed to support him. How do I get this from him if he won't open up at and never expresses his feelings about them. He does not talk about it when are together or over phone. Its hard to support him from a distance too.
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Well, here's the thing. I am trying to communicate to you that there isn't anything you can do except accept the situation. You can't change him - you can only change your attitude about it and your acceptance of it. There are no magic answers here. You are wanting to have a relationship with someone who is severely disadvantaged when it comes to those kinds of skills. There's no secret to dealing with that. It's all up to you. I'm not sure what you think someone can tell you that will make that easier. Also, if he isn't talking to you about his hallucinations, then there really isn't anything you can do there either. You aren't going to be able to make him be someone he isn't. I'm sorry that this isn't the answer you want, but that's the reality. Tamara
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
I am a trained nurse and you never tell someone you have a problem deal with it, even dementia patients and their families are given ways to cope with their illness