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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1523
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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I'm totally lost on my son. He's 19 and in his second

Resolved Question:

I'm totally lost on my son. He's 19 and in his second semester of his freshman year in college. He has become withdrawn, unhappy, and suddenly is not doing well in his classes.
He admitted to being "overwhelmed" and worried about making grades. He has always worried about his grades, even though he's always made excellent grades, and we have never pressured him. We just bought him a new car in January, we paid half and he paid
half. He's always been a very saving child. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend. But he's
always been backward, shy, and bashful. I don't know what to us. He won't talk to us
anymore, should I take him to a professional? I'm very worried about him.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
Does he admit to having any problems? Is he open to getting help? What have you done to help him?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I don't think he knows he has a problem. His father and I have notices it coming on slowly
for about a month. We have not mentioned professional help to him. He went to this college for four summers, while in High School, he loved it. He finished high school
with 9 hrs. of college credit and 31 high school credits. He's very intelligent. He started
building computers from scratch in sixth and seventh grade. He learned to play guitar
and keyboard in no time at all. He can do anything he puts his mind to, but I just don't
understand what's happening with him now. He comes home about every other weekend,
and he just seems sad. He seems so unhappy, but won't admit to being unhappy.
Where do I start?
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
Well your son definitely has plenty of strengths going for him. When there is a drastic change in behavior I first have to question alcohol and drug use. I would start by sitting down with him with is full attention and having a serious conversation about your concerns. Point these things out to him and have him explain the reasons. My guess is that he is not used to talking about his feelings so this may be uncomfortable for him. If you can get him to admit that life is not good for him right now or that there is even the slightest problem in life then you can get him into therapy. On the other hand, maybe all it will take is for you to make the appointment and go with him. You can check into his college counseling center and see if they offer counseling. Maybe you want to take a surprise visit to his house and check things out. At this point you can only do so much and he will need to do the rest. Let him know your concerns and that you are there to help him and then see where it goes. If he declines help then so be it. If he is suicidal then the police. Otherwise you don't have much power in the situation.
Dr. G. and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
He has a room mate that he went to school with for 4 years and the college bit in high school for the 4 years, this boy lost his father in the 9th grade of brain cancer. The are very close. This boy is also very religious and talks to me constantly. His mother talks to him daily just as our son talks to us daily. I do not think there is drugs nor alchol. H has exposed to all of that since middle school, (public schools are a playground for drugs and alchol) I know, I just retired from the public school system. He's used to talking about his
emotions, thats what bothers me, he would always tell me, (maybe not his father) if he had a problem, no matter what it was, we would talk it out, even crushes on girls. He's
has never lied to me. I told him he couldn't go to a resturant close to his high school to get lunch. When he came home that evening, he said mom, I went to the resturant and picked up lunch today. Sue, one of the teachers and his best friends mother called it in, and they went over picked it up and brought it back to school to eat. I said, I sincerely ***** ***** telling me the truth. That's all I've ever asked you to do.
What you did was fine. You have my permission to do it anytime you want, as long as
someone calls it in, you pick it up and bring it back to school to eat. He said, "you're
not mad?" I said, of course not, you did exactly what I told you to do. You told me. You
did it safely, with others, you did not stay at the resturant, you can back to school.
That's fine. He cannot look directly at me and lie. I can tell- he can not look me in the eye. We've always been very close, I'm devistated. Any other suggestions?