Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

How to deal with adult children who lie

how to deal with adult children who lie
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 28 minutes by:
2/23/2010
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,720
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified

Hi there ,

Welcome to JUts answer !

How old is your child ?

1)since when has she started lying ?

2)does she also have traits of argumentativeness , disrespect to elders or seniors , defiance and doing opposite of what is told to her ?

3)is this lying only restricted to conversations with her parent or does she lie to friends and close relatives as well ?

4)does she lie with an ulterior motive in her mind backing the lying ?

kindly answer queries against their numbers..

Regards..

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 7 years ago
My daughter just turned 23. She only lies only about college. She is not disrespectful to others and actually a very caring person. She is a National Merit Scholarship winner. I'm not sure how it started, but we found out that she lost her college scholarship because her GPA fell below 3.0. She went through a period of depression and seemed to get herself back on track after approximately a 1.5 years. She told us that she was going to graduate in December. We attended the graduation ceremony. We found out after the fact that she actually needs 9 credits to graduate, but she didn't schedule them in a timely manner and was only able to get 6 credits in this semester. She has constant "G" grades, which are incompletes. I found out about the lie because we offered to pay for her graduate school applications and no application fees were ever charged to out account. She does work as a SAT tutor. She is highly intelligent, but can't seem to finish her classes. She gets through the mid-term with high marks but then just stops doing the work. I don't understand it. Why does she not finish her classes? Why does she lie to us about school? We only want her to finish school so she can support herself and get on with her life. She has many successful friends and I know that she has felt very pressured by family, friends, and high school teachers to succeed. I have had many discussions about living your life for yourself and doing what makes you happy. She wants to be a medical social worker and needs a masters degree to accomplish this. She has also applied for student loans and added me as the co-signer without my knowledge. I would have co-signed if she had only asked me. I don't know if confronting her will make her stop doing her school work on current classes, since it is mid-term time. What do I do?
Customer reply replied 7 years ago
I forgot to mention. That she said she just scored a perfect score on GREs, math, writing and verbal. I have also told her that we would only pay her living expenses until she finds a full-time job. Since she doesn't have a degree I don't know when that will be. Should I give her a date when we will stop paying expenses? We are not wealthy parents. We have managed our money well and do not have any loans and are only paying daily living expenses and her brother's school expenses.

Thanks for the reply..

Well, it is quite implied that she lied to escape the embarrassment of having to face you at the background of her failures and it is quite understandable that her inability to get through her semester stems from the fact that she has lost her confidence a bit and is being under tremendous pressure of expecatations from you as parents and her own expectaions to perform , that she gets too much overwhelmed by the stress, that she looses the plot and succumbs to the pressure.

So, in this case , giving due respect and credit to you as parents in thinking well about your children 's welfare , but i believe it would do a world of good to her confidence and self belief if for once you tell her to take her exams without taking any tension about the results and just put her energy and concentration on her studies , and leave the rest to god and tell her that you are proud of her achievemnet so far and would offer unconditional and relentless support to her no mattter what would be the result , this kind of heart to heart encouragement talk would boost her confidence and self belief and uplift her moral , which has taken a severe beating in the recent past due to a succession of unfortunate failures , otherwise what could explain an A grade scholarship student , not able to pass her semester , the real culprit is stress of expectations to perform from all corners and lack of support from parents , so without giving too much weightage to her lying , give your support endlessly and you wil see that she will come back on track , as all she needs is your endless back up , like you would have done when she was a child .

I hope this helps..

I wish you all the best..

Please press the ACCEPT button if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

Regards..

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,720
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified
Dr. Kaushik and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 7 years ago
I have tried to be supportive each semester. I have tried to talk to her, but I think that my contact only adds to the stress. She can't seem to finish anything for herself. Her father and I don't really care what other people think. We want her to become confident in herself and strong enough to just live her life on her own terms.

Well, that is really so nice that you are being understanding and trying to render your support to her , but i believe that since your efforts have not turned out to be a moral booster, so instead of wasting any further precious time , you shall take her to a psychologist and get her started on counseling in the form of Cognitive behaviour therapy ( CBT ) , which suits best to overcome low confidence and boost one's moral and clear and objective thinking ..and you will see that after a few sessions , she will again become as confident as before.. and would perform well in the semester..

Regards..

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,720
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified
Dr. Kaushik and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Customer reply replied 7 years ago
Thank you
Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,720
4,720 Satisfied Customers
Experience: MD Psychiatry

Dr. Kaushik is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

4,021 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
OKMH1130211 Hiw can I handle stress better especially when I
OKMH1130211 Hiw can I handle stress better especially when I have several situations in my life which are overwhelming and seems impossible?… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
791 satisfied customers
I feel stressed, I don't know if my stress levels are normal
Hello , I feel stressed , I don't know if my stress levels are normal or do I need to seek medical help … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
763 satisfied customers
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset
Can stress in the workplace cause indigestion, stomach upset and bloating? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
763 satisfied customers
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work hours
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work long hours sometimes 15 a day. I'm starting to have what I think are panic stacks. What do I do? … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
Psychiatrist
4,720 satisfied customers
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some relief from stress & pain, … read more
Dr. Thomas, MD
Dr. Thomas, MD
2,227 satisfied customers
I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting
Hi,I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting relationship, and I need to make sense of it. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is an angry guy by nature. I think he's a bit narci… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
763 satisfied customers
I want to stop using cilift 40 mg for post pardom stress
Good day. I want to stop using cilift 40 mg for post pardom stress disorder. Because I think it is the reason for my weight gain. Is it possible for weight gain Thank you… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
791 satisfied customers
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over an hour drive each way to work in rush hour traffic, and worry a lot about things to the point of not having an appetite. I cycle to try to a… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
What can I do to un-stress? I've painted my nails for the
What can I do to un-stress? I've painted my nails for the first time in ages, and my husband has court RIGHT NOW. I am just wishing for his wellness, and ours as a family. It's for him assaulting me, … read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,675 satisfied customers
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert bully. He is a sociopath. He has made my life hell for two months. I am. Losing sleep and I carry stress in the pit of my stomach. I haven't been… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
OKMH710211 If stress is too high, how do you meditate enough
OKMH710211 If stress is too high, how do you meditate enough to get more than an hour of sleep at a time?… read more
Patience
Patience
Mental Health Therapist
Master\u0027s Degree
116 satisfied customers
I I'm going through extreme stressful situation right now.
I I'm going through extreme stressful situation right now. My doctor prescribed valium to relax me but I have been on Paxil for many years. I get the sleep but wake up all adgitated. Ant ideas?? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
763 satisfied customers
I was dx with add, ocd tendencies and anxiety 10 years ago.
I was dx with add, ocd tendencies and anxiety 10 years ago. I stopped the adderal.meds bc if the crash they caused. I hear there is a time release that works good but in a new state and need doc tnst … read more
llw26
llw26
Private Practice
Doctoral Degree
11 satisfied customers
I am looking to add supplements to my diet. Specifically
Hi. I am looking to add supplements to my diet. Specifically L-Lipoic Acid, L-Theanine, L-Carnitine, and Cleated Magnesium … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
Psychiatrist
4,720 satisfied customers
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm hearing
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm hearing voices that aren't really voices, they're there. They imply feelings of anger and frustration. And the only thing that comes to mind is "money i… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I have some stress because of my older sister Shazmin Lalji
Hi my name is***** have some stress because of my older sister Shazmin Lalji and her family. She always want to compete and it seems she can be skinny sometimes and other times she can be fat sometime… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
763 satisfied customers
My best friend "J" was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD, I'm not
Hello, my best friend "J" was diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD, I'm not sure the difference), we are in our 40s. But I don't see her having this problem. When she was first diagnosed I just thought, oh it'… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
791 satisfied customers
I used to take Dexedrine for adult ADD the dr thinks I
Hello, I used to take Dexedrine for adult ADD the dr thinks I should go back on it. I have been having trouble running my business and growing my business and getting organized. My son also used to ta… read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x