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Ask Tamara Your Own Question
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I have a brother who seems to suffer from social anxiety or

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I have a brother who seems to suffer from social anxiety or another issue that lacks him form social interaction. Over the weekend he refused to address a $35 over charge on a bill because he did not want to address this to the waiter. When I asked him about this he stated it would be ok . He often is short and if you ask him a question with a detailed answer he looks at you and gives you the dumbfounded look and says " i don't know" or makes the answer brief within a few words. He lacks effort in his school studies. He never expresses feelings, thoughts, or emotions and never displays happyness because he always goes with the flow and never has an opinion. What should I do?
Hi there. What are you wanting to do? Are you wanting to communicate with your brother, or are wanting to know how to handle his lack of communication? Tamara
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I want to bring is communication skills up to par of society. However, there are certain instances that I look at that think his skills cannot be refined by breaking out of a barrier. I believe this is more of a behavioral issue and he needs to speak with someone. He was recently on anti-depressent meds for this but did not seem to work. I believe that he needs to speak with a phycologist to find out a root cause and remedy. I am affraid of his current mindest that he cannot be truely happy, regarding his motivation and lack of interaction with others. To answer your question the proper path my family and I should take to address and handle the issue.

Hi there. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Given what you have described, I think the best approach would to be honest with him and tell him what your concerns are and that you would like to see him talk with someone. Have some examples ready to explain what you mean, as he is likely to ask for them. If he has that much trouble socially, you may have to find a therapist and make the initial appointment for him also

I can understand your desire to help your brother and to want to see him do better socially. But you may also have to accept that this is how your brother is. Whether this is due to depression, or some other issues, your brother is an adult and can refuse to get help, even if he agrees it might be useful. But your best approach will be from a position of caring about him and wanting to see him happy. If you can stay with this perspective, perhaps you can encourage him to get some therapy and perhaps get back on medication.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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