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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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I believe my girlfriend is a narcissist. I care for her but

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i believe my girlfriend is a narcissist. I care for her but havent talked to her in a few days after another cold shoulder episode. I did not act upset. I just left said I'd wait for her to call me. She hasn't and I haven't contacted her. Am I doing the right thing?
You bet you are. any narcissist will only be interest in you when it suits there purpose. She may become easily offended and over react, but it will be all your fault. She also has not real capacity for love or empathy or guilt. She will do whatever she wants, regardless of emotional damage to others. She will come back to you when and if it suits her for the moment. I take it you have not been with her very long, as this pattern will repeat again and again. Your decision is whether or not you want to live like this or not, as this is not going to change.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i have been with her for a year and a half. first six months was good. The last year has been the back and forth. She only seems to respond when i do what she wants. if i do it without her asking she gets mad or retreats. is there no help
Sounds pretty typical. To be honest, no help. You already get the fact she only approves when you do what you want, worse yet, it has to be all her idea.

Let me tell you why I don't seem hope, by telling you about diagnosis. Personality Disorders are separated out from all other diagnosis. They are considered to be maladaptive personality traits that make it difficult for the person to function in society, especially interpersonal relationships. In a sense, they are not considered mental disorders. Mental Health diagnoses them mainly as a mechanism to communicate to other treating professions that when medications and psychotherapy don't work it is because you are really trying to their core personality. Psychotherapy can fine tune rough edges for people, but can't really change someones basic personality.
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